Jiffy Pop Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon When I was younger I went through a lot of bad relationships. I’m ashamed to admit more than once I’ve let a fool kiss me, and more than once I’ve let a kiss fool me.
←Rate | 10-30-2013 05:56 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now that I’m over the hill, I’m happy to report I can still do all the things could do when I was in my 20’s. … well, at least the things I can remember.
←Rate | 10-30-2013 06:02 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Our friends don’t understand our obsession with trying to write clever, original status updates to post online... They wonder why we don’t just copy and paste our status updates like everyone else does.
←Rate | 10-30-2013 06:08 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon At my age I only have two goals: to keep working a real job and to keep flossing real teeth.
←Rate | 10-31-2013 02:16 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Statistics show that married men live a lot longer than single men. However married men are a lot more willing to die.
←Rate | 10-31-2013 02:20 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon The secret to life is to always do whatever's next.
←Rate | 10-31-2013 02:23 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wouldn’t it be great if people could only get AIDS from being a Politician who screws with the economy and causes a Government Shutdown?
←Rate | 10-31-2013 02:28 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I hate going to the Mall. I've always felt like they are watching or following me. I tried to prove it , but my wife just rolls her eyes. The shocking truth is every map I've ever seen in that place says "You are Here". How do they know that?
←Rate | 11-04-2013 05:25 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I think , therefore I am"- Descartes..."I post, therefore I ham"- Me
←Rate | 11-09-2013 20:49 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon People are always worrying about getting gray hair. But actuall gray hair is pretty cool. Just ask any guy that's bald.
←Rate | 11-12-2013 05:47 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon I may not have grown old gracefully, but having a woman who still loves me has helped me to grow old gratefully.
←Rate | 11-12-2013 05:51 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some of the happiest years of a woman's life are when she's 29.
←Rate | 11-12-2013 05:55 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anyone who wants to be successful in old age has to start young.
←Rate | 11-12-2013 05:59 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon As a guy, the hardest thing about shopping for pants is asking the clerk if they make your butt look fat.
←Rate | 11-13-2013 23:57 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon "If you like your insurance, you can keep it" is the new "I did not have sεx with that woman, Monica Lewinski" Only difference is now millions and millions of Americans are being taken advantage of by a sneaky guy in the Oval Office ...
←Rate | 11-16-2013 10:29 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon Once again Miley Cyrus tries to hijack another awards show by throwing her inexplicably huge pu$$y out there for all the world to see.
←Rate | 11-25-2013 09:49 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon My favorite part of Thanksgiving day is when I stuff the Bird. My wife enjoys it too but wishes I'd find another nickname for her lady parts.
←Rate | 11-27-2013 23:12 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think what I'm thankful for most this Thanksgiving is not having to read thirty more days of what everyone is thankful for.
←Rate | 11-27-2013 23:24 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best thing about all these crazy Potato Chip flavors is that we don't need to make side dishes for the Turkey this year.
←Rate | 11-27-2013 23:46 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon The worst part about watching The Food Network while my mother in law tries to follow their recipes during the Holidays is the sad fact that they don't deliver.
←Rate | 11-27-2013 23:50 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  




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