Gman Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Some women are born to greatness, some have it thrust into them.
←Rate | 04-14-2011 10:18 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not sure what this guy shaking a cup of change at people wants. He must just be bragging that he has change.
←Rate | 04-14-2011 10:19 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't need no fancy pants book learnin' to know that xenophobia is the fear of warrior princesses.
←Rate | 04-14-2011 10:20 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon In a new poll, 80% of Japanese women admit to having faked origami.
←Rate | 04-14-2011 10:21 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Obama really wanted to impress me, he'd somehow combine Missouri & Oregon to make a "Show me your beaver" state.
←Rate | 04-14-2011 19:50 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon We had social networking when we were kids too... I think it was called "outside" back then though.
←Rate | 04-14-2011 23:41 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Love is like a brick. You can build a house, or you can sink a dead body.
←Rate | 04-15-2011 10:02 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon 99 years ago today, the Titanic chose to hit an iceberg and sink rather than spend another day listening to Celine Dion.
←Rate | 04-15-2011 10:08 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon First that jerk cut me off in traffic, then he stole my parking space, and then his stupid car got paint on my key!
←Rate | 04-15-2011 10:18 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon I figured out a great way to pick up women. I painted my car to look like a taxi.
←Rate | 04-15-2011 21:29 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like sleeping with deaf women because I can shout out any name I want to.
←Rate | 04-15-2011 21:31 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon I haven't dated Miss Right yet, but I have dated Miss Guided, Miss Directed, Miss Conduct, Miss Fire, Miss Demeanor, & Miss Ellaneous.
←Rate | 04-15-2011 21:34 by Gman Comments (2)  


   messageicon Been on hold so long I can't remember who I called. I have a credit card out and my pants off but that doesn't really narrow it down much.
←Rate | 04-15-2011 21:47 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've been retracing my steps and now I have all these outlines of feet on my floor and still no keys.
←Rate | 04-15-2011 22:02 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon After marriage, sloppy seconds means not licking the cake batter spoon first.
←Rate | 04-15-2011 22:04 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon I only make a lot of spelling and grammar errors because I have type-o blood.
←Rate | 04-15-2011 22:08 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ooh, baby. Can you do that thing to me with your mouth? You know. Shut it and don't speak. Oh yeah. That's feels awesome.
←Rate | 04-15-2011 22:11 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gatorade's motto is "Is it in you?" ... Coincidentally, that was also MY motto the first several times I tried to have sex
←Rate | 04-15-2011 22:19 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sarah Palin wants to trade Mark her name. What the hell's Mark gonna do with it??
←Rate | 04-15-2011 22:26 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon "How can we be lovers if we can't be friends?" You don't understand how sex works, do you, Michael Bolton?
←Rate | 04-15-2011 22:28 by Gman Comments (0)  




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