@daddybullfrog1 Funny Status Messages

   Even God hates BP! Lightning struck the tanker today and started a fire!

   It's not so much that "I don't like" my neighbors as "I hate 'em"

   Angelina Jolie is the prettiest ugly chick I've ever seen!

   Me and a friend have been texting "LOL" back and forth for the last 10 min. Neither 1 of us have anything else to say but don't want to be the rude one not to text back!

   It's illegal to text and drive, but it's not against the law to work on ur laptop whilest driving. Thanks policeman for making that clear.

   You couldn't get laid in a womens prison with a handful of pardons!

   I must have ordered the "Johnny Cash" at Taco Bell cuz now I'm experiencing a "Ring of Fire" in the bathroom!

   I read at the end of the 20th century all Blacks were offered exodus from US slavery the only requirement was a boat ride back to Africa. But we know how blacks feel about water, ergo: they stayed!

   Once they learn how to prevent pizza rolls from exploding out molten hot lava, then I'll believe in the ability if science.

   If I'm not gonna shower tonight I'm gonna at least baby wipe my hole and baby powder my balls. Same diff

   Just took a duce so big and hard I think it was my first gay experience

   Just bought a "Flux Capacitor" off eBay!

   I've only got a couple more years in my "fat stage of life" before I start getting refer'd to as the "fat friend"

   Just saw Dianna Ross on Oprah, wow I don't think I'll ever get an erection again

   You can safely say you live in the ghetto when you open your front door to the smell of hotdogs.

   If I wanted to listen to someone bi!ch, complain and act like there better than everyone else I'd listen to RAP music

   Thx Burger King breakfast for letting me experience Prison Food!

   I just found out there is an "acceptable" amount of radioactive iodine in water.

   The Nut I busted yesterday was so good it's still on my mind today at work. I'm totally having Pistachios again tonight

   Why does the Pope mobile have bulletproof glass? If the Pope is afraid to die, what chance does anyone else have!