snotty Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Day 12.. I haven't eaten apple in a week,, the doctors are slowly getting thru the barricade, I won't last very long, tell my family I love em
←Rate | 04-21-2015 21:29 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon They should have cell phone chargers in waiting rooms instead of magazines.
←Rate | 02-18-2012 08:06 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't wait until Whole Foods starts selling "Mars Water" for 50 bucks a bottle.
←Rate | 09-30-2015 20:34 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon My 6yo thinks it's bullcrap that grown-ups don't get a summer break.
←Rate | 06-03-2013 16:48 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kurt Cobain would be so disappointed to find out teen spirit now smells like Axe body spray
←Rate | 10-09-2012 16:02 by snotty Comments (1)  


   messageicon Some people's lives are like open books... Mine is like a trashcan without a lid.
←Rate | 10-22-2016 20:45 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do the commercials with the husband and wife doing a home improvement project never show the fistfight?
←Rate | 09-24-2015 06:51 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon TOP MISTAKES MARRIED MEN MAKE: 1) Doing things... 2) Not doing things... 3) Thinking about doing things... 4) Not thinking about doing things...
←Rate | 03-08-2013 14:59 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hmm,,, Voyager1 is 8.2 billion Miles from Earth & continues to send readings back to us.. and I can't get cellphone reception in my livingroom?
←Rate | 10-28-2013 17:58 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Winning a fight with your wife, is like winning a vacation to Detroit... Don't get too excited
←Rate | 05-25-2015 17:10 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw that veterans got a free meal at Golden Corral on Veterans Day. Why?... Haven't those poor guys been through enough?
←Rate | 11-24-2014 12:22 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey,, When I was young I had to Post stuff manually... Barefoot in the snow,,, uphill both ways....... And I was GRATEFULL
←Rate | 04-07-2012 08:03 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mother-in-law's coming,,,,, I had to clear out half my closet so she has a place to hang upside down and sleep
←Rate | 08-09-2012 18:24 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Always check the height of nearby ceiling fans before giving a toddler a ride on your shoulders... * How I learned this rule is not important.
←Rate | 07-23-2014 20:29 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon A vegan friend on FB said if we had to kill our own food, we wouldn't eat meat... I think if he had to build his own computer he'd couldn't whine on FB.
←Rate | 03-07-2014 15:29 by snotty Comments (1)  


   messageicon Wow!!, What a day..I volunteered at a soup kitchen, mowed my lawn,, went to 2 Birthday parties,, ran 6 miles,, then told a BUNCH of lies on Facebook.
←Rate | 05-19-2012 13:51 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Frosted Mini Wheats" are my absolute FAVORITE breakfast cereal made from scrap wicker furniture.
←Rate | 04-23-2012 08:24 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw a guy walking 4 dogs this morning and thought, Wow!.. That guy must be really blind.
←Rate | 08-01-2013 07:03 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yes,,, The bathrooms by the pool are a nice touch but completely unnecessary.
←Rate | 08-23-2013 08:00 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon My doctor is getting REALLY tired of me asking if the stuff I see in commercials is right for me.
←Rate | 01-05-2013 10:31 by snotty Comments (0)  




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