samdave69 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon hates it when he goes to a Vuvuzela concert and people start playing football...
←Rate | 06-22-2010 08:16 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon a cookbook is like a Danielle Steele novel for chubby girls....
←Rate | 02-04-2010 12:57 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon lives with fear everyday. Sometimes she lets him go fishing....
←Rate | 02-04-2010 12:46 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon just realized life hasn't changed much. 15years ago on Sunday night I was wishing I was grown up and had a job. Today night I'm up wishing I was in school.......
←Rate | 04-11-2010 16:54 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wakes up grumpy, but most days he just lets her sleep....
←Rate | 02-04-2010 12:45 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon England are to change their shirts for the next game. The 3 lions will be replaced with 3 tampons to represent the worst period they've ever had!!
←Rate | 06-24-2010 07:03 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon realized that a dog is truly a mans best friend. Locked the dog and the wife in the car boot for 1hour. Guess who was happy to see me and who wasn't??
←Rate | 07-22-2010 23:31 by samdave69 Comments (2)  


   messageicon pays tribute to Mickey Mouse who will turn 82 years old this year. He's now the oldest rodent in show business, unless you count that thing on Donald Trump's head....
←Rate | 02-05-2010 11:30 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Deja Vuvuzela - I think I've heard this buzz before....
←Rate | 07-13-2010 22:59 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon has been asked to change his status regarding SATC2. Apparently PETA didn't take too well at me comparing Sarah Jessica Parker/Carrie to a horse. It was harsh on horses worldwide..... I am sorry......
←Rate | 06-12-2010 02:38 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon going to take a picture of his first kid and use age progression software to figure out what he'll look like when he's 16. Then I'm going to frame the picture and keep it as a centrepiece in the house. Then when the appropriate time comes and he realiz
←Rate | 07-01-2010 11:40 by samdave69 Comments (1)  


   messageicon doesn't have a drinking problem. He drinks. He gets drunk. He falls down. No problem...
←Rate | 02-03-2010 13:49 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thanks his mum for teaching him TIME TRAVEL as a kid. She would always say: "straighten up or I'll knock you into next week!"
←Rate | 09-01-2010 23:16 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wonders...Do you think the guy that invented the vibrator heard voices saying, "If you build it, they will come"
←Rate | 09-01-2010 15:18 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon likes it when he open a document on the comp and the monitor says WORD. And I'm like, YOOO!!
←Rate | 09-15-2010 16:47 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon doesn't have a beer belly. What I have is a fuel tank for a sex machine......
←Rate | 04-06-2010 18:25 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon finally knows why leprechauns laugh when they run...? It's because the grass tickles their nuts...
←Rate | 08-01-2010 19:02 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon just heard that Naomi Campbell walked into a library and asked for Blood Diamond. She was told "sorry dear, you're asking the wrong person, you need a Liberian!!
←Rate | 08-06-2010 13:25 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Avatar"... returns to theaters this week, with 9 mins added to the movie. These additional minutes r very important. They explain how the blue ppl got that way by cross-breeding with Smurfs...
←Rate | 08-30-2010 11:21 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders if its politically incorrect to pour Self Raising Flour on orphan kids.....
←Rate | 01-09-2011 13:04 by samdave69 Comments (1)  



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