otis Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Dr says my cholesterol count is so high that... I can't even say "cheese" when I get my picture taken.
←Rate | 07-17-2015 15:27 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon Home quarantine going great so far but not sure what day it is or what hour it is and I’m not really sure where I parked.
←Rate | 03-24-2020 20:24 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon going for shots this morning. the dogs are getting rabies and I'm getting starbucks
←Rate | 03-11-2014 11:42 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon they found the body of the guy who stole all the celebrity's nude photos. Apparently he has been high fived to death.
←Rate | 09-02-2014 07:47 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's my birthday on St Patrick's Day and I'm gonna be drunk all weekend! LET'S GET READY TO STUMMMMBLLLLE!
←Rate | 03-14-2014 10:54 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon u guys should be able to charge $ for making the rest of us who copy ur posts look funny. but dont charge me, it was my idea.
←Rate | 10-23-2012 10:15 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon going to opt for GPS on our next dryer. Should help locate those missing socks.
←Rate | 01-11-2015 18:47 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon Uh, rah rah baseball people. Football season's begun. More You can stop now. Thanks.
←Rate | 09-13-2017 17:02 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon On this Thanksgiving I am thankful to all of your post that make me look funny on Facebook.
←Rate | 11-22-2017 06:30 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon I suggest FB replace the "Like" button with "OMAHA!!"
←Rate | 01-21-2014 10:43 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bong Bowl is on! Just don't drink the water
←Rate | 01-20-2014 06:34 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife asked me the other day if I had seen the dog bowl. I replied, I didn’t know he did that.
←Rate | 08-27-2022 15:36 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy birthday to the microwave oven. As The very first domestic model was introduced 58 years ago today, by the Tappan stove company in Mansfield, Ohio.Formally known as Tappan @ss LLC.
←Rate | 10-25-2013 10:02 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon I told my wife she has to embrace her mistakes. So she hugged me.
←Rate | 08-27-2022 15:35 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why didn’t we use the Seattle Space Needle to take down the Chinese balloon?
←Rate | 02-06-2023 18:52 by Otis Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wondering, what are the aliens on the dark side of the moon doing? Seeing the sun for the first time?
←Rate | 04-08-2024 14:16 by Otis Comments (0)  



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