flinnie Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon The courthouse is a really great place to see people with neck tattoos wearing ties.
←Rate | 10-01-2011 05:20 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If these walls could talk, I'd probably stop hanging things with nails.
←Rate | 05-19-2012 07:21 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I challenge you to name a more frightening experience than seeing a police car make a u-turn behind you
←Rate | 09-02-2011 04:17 by flinnie Comments (3)  


   messageicon If I had to guess where everything went wrong, I'd have to say it was the day I learned "elemenopee" wasn't one awesome letter.
←Rate | 11-04-2011 09:16 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have an inferiority complex about my superiority complex. I know I'm better than you, but I feel really bad about it.
←Rate | 08-20-2013 15:43 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon The fire department will hang up on you if you are reporting a disco inferno.
←Rate | 03-24-2012 06:28 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Having a mohawk used to mean you were tough. Now it means you're a 3 year-old with annoying parents.
←Rate | 12-02-2013 07:03 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well, I guess these tequila shots aren't going to regret themselves
←Rate | 08-24-2011 15:56 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never trust a homeless guy selling homemade lemonade, just saying.
←Rate | 04-27-2012 05:56 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon When the nurse calls my name at the doctor's office, I like to run through the waiting room like I got called on The Price is Right
←Rate | 04-26-2013 06:13 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I were a pirate I'd skip the skulls and crossbones, and bedazzle a Hello Kitty themed boat. I'd never get caught, cause nobody would admit I robbed them.
←Rate | 09-14-2012 08:49 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I had a time machine I'd show Albert Einstein the Internet and ruin everything.
←Rate | 04-27-2012 06:07 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love in horror movies how the person yells out "hello?!" as if the killer is gonna say "yeah I'm in the kitchen, want a sandwich?"
←Rate | 04-17-2011 05:50 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon So let me get this straight, a 747 can carry a space shuttle on its "back", and yet airlines charge for overweight baggage?
←Rate | 04-21-2012 05:45 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I see a flash mob in public I immediately join in to make it seem like they didn't practice enough.
←Rate | 05-12-2013 07:32 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m so old, I can remember going through a whole day without taking a picture of anything.
←Rate | 04-23-2014 05:27 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon When cats and dogs finally rise up against us, the first thing they'll do is strap Santa hats to our heads and take pictures.
←Rate | 12-10-2011 06:02 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon f you feel sad, remember: There are people out there right now buying last-minute Christmas presents for their cats.
←Rate | 12-22-2011 08:52 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Before you get married try walking with your partner through IKEA. If you don't end up in an argument, you're good to go.
←Rate | 09-05-2011 05:51 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon n't it interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering
←Rate | 04-15-2014 05:30 by flinnie Comments (0)  




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