ff1241 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon You know what they say "Home is where you hang your enemies head."
←Rate | 07-04-2011 04:38 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Look, here's the deal: If you're into immature, sexually compulsive men who drink too much and need to be the center of attention at all times, you are going to find me very attractive.
←Rate | 12-01-2010 22:30 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I may still be single but I know that I have saved a lot of money on a wedding and even more on the divorce.
←Rate | 12-31-2010 03:14 by ff1241 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Ever been so tired at work that people thought you were drunk? I hope so because thats the only excuse I have for being drunk at work.
←Rate | 04-10-2012 20:25 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder what I did at work before I had and I-phone and Facebook.
←Rate | 11-28-2011 23:52 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I believe in evolution by natural selection. But I have one big problem with it. Its not fast enough and there are too many safeguards in place not to let nature do its thing.
←Rate | 08-14-2012 20:34 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So you wonder why I never seem to get any sleep. Well I never go to bed angry. I stay up and plot my revenge. So ask yourself something, do I hate alot of people or is one person really going to get it. Now your wondering if its you.
←Rate | 09-19-2011 02:39 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The term weekend could have a whole new meaning tomorrow.
←Rate | 05-20-2011 23:16 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wishing my dog had a snooze button!!
←Rate | 07-07-2011 13:31 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Zombie squirrels will feast on your nuts.
←Rate | 05-17-2011 23:37 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Chocolate chip cookie dough has a warning to not eat it raw. Who in their right mind is not going to do that. I can't even remember the last time I got cookie dough and made them into cookies.
←Rate | 01-29-2011 23:25 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon very surprised at the number of my family members actually willing to admit they are related to me.
←Rate | 04-26-2011 20:04 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon was looking for a date on Craigs list only to find out that "420 friendly" did not stand for maximum weight limit.
←Rate | 11-18-2010 22:48 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone give Bruno Mars a grenade and pull the pin. I'm getting sick of that song. She dosen't love you, I don't wanna hear about how your stalking her.
←Rate | 01-29-2011 23:26 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today I saw a sign for a suicide helpline on the back of a bus. I couldn't help but think, it would work much better on the front.
←Rate | 10-22-2011 14:37 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Drinking is a problem only if you're not good at it. To me, everything you listed is proof that I am very good at it.”
←Rate | 12-01-2010 02:54 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Taboo jeopardy is a lot more fun to play. Maybe because I know the answers.
←Rate | 01-16-2011 21:49 by ff1241 Comments (3)  


   messageicon This whole being a responsible adult thing sucks.
←Rate | 05-06-2011 20:30 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your on a dating website and didn't post a picture of yourself. It should be mandatory to disclose the amount of teeth you will show up with in you mouth on the first date.
←Rate | 12-01-2010 13:24 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kids are more fun when you can give them back.
←Rate | 11-29-2011 21:54 by ff1241 Comments (0)  




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