Gabe Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon About to pull these steaks off the grill. It's my neighbor's grill, but he went inside and I don't think he can see me...
←Rate | 01-20-2020 09:01 by Gabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon No need for me to storm Area 51... I've been to Walmart...
←Rate | 07-19-2019 10:06 by Gabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Becoming skinny this summer is cancelled due to the virus. Pass the cupcakes...
←Rate | 03-27-2020 09:10 by Gabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some of you all went from homemade, natural, all organic cleaning products to Clorox real fast...
←Rate | 03-12-2020 08:39 by Gabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon I feel like I'm watching a tv show called "Lockdown Got Talent" because this lockdown has people thinking they're gym instructors, chefs, dancers, etc...
←Rate | 07-06-2020 19:32 by Gabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I put my car in neutral at stoplights and roll back a little so people will think I drive a manual...
←Rate | 11-03-2018 16:14 by Gabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon For the first time since 1945, the Scripps National Spelling Bee has been cancul... cancill... cansi... called off.
←Rate | 05-29-2020 08:57 by Gabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon After visiting the gov't healthcare site, I don't know why I was so worried about their ability to spy on me...
←Rate | 10-05-2013 10:54 by Gabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon So. I don't see you for months and now you pop up and expect me to take care of you?? OK, fine. I'll start up the mower....stupid grass...
←Rate | 03-31-2012 12:49 by Gabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon I discovered that growing up in the '60's was more fun than being in my 60's...
←Rate | 05-26-2019 20:11 by Gabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me: "Hey Siri, why do I always mess things up with women?" Her: "My name is ALEXA..."
←Rate | 10-21-2020 08:15 by Gabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone talking about Pelosi ripping up Trump's speech, but we've all done questionable things when we were that drunk...
←Rate | 02-05-2020 09:48 by Gabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Amazon just broke up with New York... on Valentine's Day...
←Rate | 02-14-2019 15:12 by Gabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some angry woman with road rage just yelled out her car window "I'm gonna make your life a living hell!" I yelled back "Thanks, but I'm not looking for a relationship right now..."
←Rate | 10-10-2020 21:38 by Gabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am giving up drinking for a month. Sorry, that came out wrong... I am giving up. Drinking for a month.
←Rate | 12-22-2019 15:13 by Gabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon I do crunches twice a day now. Captain in the morning and Nestle in the afternoon...
←Rate | 01-16-2020 14:09 by Gabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon In World Cup news, the England team visited an orphanage in Brazil today. "It's heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope," said Jose, age 6...
←Rate | 06-14-2014 13:33 by Gabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't come to me for advice. We'll just end up at the liquor store...
←Rate | 09-10-2020 12:20 by Gabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cops just left. They said if I want to walk around my house naked, I have to do it inside...
←Rate | 02-15-2020 09:32 by Gabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want so bad to post a Kim and Kanye joke, but it would be off color and in the wrong direction...
←Rate | 06-22-2013 10:51 by Gabe Comments (0)  




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