Danmanz Funny Status Messages

   If twitter went away, would anyone care?

   When the government fears the people, it's called Liberty. When the people fear the government, it's called Tyranny.

   some people come to Facebook just to air out their "dirty laundry", others just don't know how to clean it.

   Maybe everyone does NOT need to see 146 photos of your newborn fresh out of the placenta.

   They took cigarette ads of TV because it was bad for our nation's health. Sooo....why can't they do the same for political ads?

   The closer you are to the toilet, the harder it is to hold it in.

   doesn't want to follow you on twitter because you're not going anywhere.

   if I had to comment your status with "What happened?" and you reply "I don't even want to talk about it...", do you think maybe you should have kept it to yourself?

   For the person who picked on you in school, stole your boyfriend/girlfriend from you, spread lies and rumors about you, didn't help you in anyway possible....all of a sudden......wants to be your friend on Facebook.

   Played Tiger Woods PGA Tour '10 the other day. Funny thing was that the 'cheat codes' were already put into the game.

   True Story: People will believe you when start a story saying "True story"

   Blowing inside cartridges was considered "Loading" back in my early years of gaming.

   have you ever slept so good you couldn't wait to do it again as soon as you woke up?

   You have six kids with six different fathers and you're on this online dating site looking for a honest and committed man with no kids...ok..good luck....

   In about 40-50 years from now, there sure is going to be a lot of old women walking around with tattooes.

   You ever had a dream so damn good, you were pissed right after you woke up because you didn't want it to end....then you tried to go back to sleep to continue it but failed?

   Here's a question: You ever wonder how many REAL friends you had before the whole Facebook, Myspace, & Twitter thing came into existence?.......You're wondering now.

   Because we're all so offensive and opinionated, anything about politics, religion, race, current events, and alcohol will always get the most votes and comments.

   "I'm Tom Bodett of Motel 6, we'll leave the Lysol on for ya"

   Me: "What was your major in college?" Friend: "I'm majoring in Debtology and Unemployconomics. Sure is a lot of students in the classes."