paulb808 Funny Status Messages

   I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot

   Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?

   You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.

   call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight

   took some time off from Facebook and got a LOT of work done. Won't make that mistake again..

   Dear Ghetto Mom...no one is going to hire your chils named Shaniquillla

   i am so tired of not being able to swear in my statuses since my family got facebook. So f&ck it. Sorry grandma.

   I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy D!ck are the same person..

   If I had a nickel for every time I ignored your Facebook request I'd have enough to buy a real farm.

   Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends

   I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him

   wonders if it's ironic that I have facebook open in another tab.....you do to dont you

   As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".

   thinks that if plungers could talk, you wouldn't own one.

   Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.

   Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.

   likes to think that when I squish an ant, its final thought is, "Good. Being an ant blows."

   Somewhere in this world my second wife is in 9th grade.

   the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. I told her I wanted to be on cops

   Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.