mullerman Funny Status Messages

   If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden.

   Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

   thinks that hard work never killed anybody, but wht take the chance?

   has a dog with no legs named Cigarette. Everyday I put on his leash and take him out for a drag.

   annoyed....the FOLD cycle on the clothes dryer isn't working!

   decided to go on a Light Diet....whenever there's light...I eat.

   singing...I owe, I owe, it's off to work I go....

   my cross-eyed teacher has a hard time keeping his pupils straight.

   anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart.

   thinks a foolish husband gives his wife an old piano. A wise husband gives her an upright organ!

   if you want to feel skinny....hang out with a group of fat people!

   wants everyone to remember that when it seems like God has turned His back on you and He seems so far away....remember this...He's not the One that moved.

   wondering...have you ever felt like a fire hydrant and all your friends were dogs?

   just found out that Lindsey Vonn had her gold medal taken away by Obama. The reason is that he is going down hill faster than she did.

   Life is like a roller coaster, and I'm about to throw up.

   really wonders why if Jimmy cracked corn and nobody cared....why did they write a song about him?

   How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

   A gas station is a place where you sometimes fill the car, but more often drain the kids

   learned to never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

   poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.