indy dave Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I just had to cancel my Christian Mingle account... they found out I was on JDate.
←Rate | 04-05-2014 20:19 by indy dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well as tomorrow approaches, November 1st. I can start growing my taint hair for "No Shave November." Will you notice?
←Rate | 10-31-2014 23:12 by indy dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon my wife just fell asleep on the couch with her mouth open... hmmm, tempting!
←Rate | 04-20-2012 23:14 by Indy Dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish Twitter would stop recommending that I follow "One Direction." Do they think I wear capri pants or something?
←Rate | 09-22-2014 21:34 by indy dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon Looks like Chris Kelly of "Kris Kross" finally tripped over his backwards pants falling and hitting his head. Ooops, nope, update: drug overdose. Shocker.
←Rate | 05-02-2013 09:09 by indy dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon there ever a time when "Criminal Minds" is not on TV??? Its either on ION, A&E, one of the Discovery Channels... even the Playboy Channel sometimes... (oh wait, that one is called "Criminal Vaginas"
←Rate | 07-04-2012 16:58 by Indy Dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon So I am making a bean/corn salad/salsa recipe and it askes for ground cummin. I'm like... uh, eww and then I'm like well I have it and it's free but exactly how do you grind it?
←Rate | 03-04-2014 17:18 by indy dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook stock down 4.20 today... coincidence?
←Rate | 05-21-2012 18:43 by indy dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon Riley Cooper said what??? Wait, isn't he Manning's brother??? No, thats Cooopah!
←Rate | 08-01-2013 19:04 by Indy Dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anderson Cooper - I had to come clean, I was caught singing "Call Me Maybe" in my car on the way to work!
←Rate | 07-04-2012 10:51 by Indy Dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon The reason they named it the "Xbox One" is they knew that it would be the only way they would hear "Xbox Won" Might as well rename it the "Xbox Done"
←Rate | 06-11-2013 15:54 by indy dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon Breaking Bad brought to you by Nationwide Insurance. Because you never know when Walter White is going to take you out...
←Rate | 08-18-2013 21:54 by indy dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon so my son stayed up until 11 last night watching a movie with us and he still got up at 6:45am... hmmm, next time use vodka in his juice maybe? Hey, I just drugged you, this is crazy, but here's a pillow, sleep in maybe?!?!?!
←Rate | 07-28-2012 07:15 by Indy Dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon any computer someone may have used to purchase you a gift. Tip 2: If you purchase gifts online, DELETE YOUR BROWSING HISTORY. That concludes today's lesson and tips.
←Rate | 12-09-2011 21:28 by Indy Dave Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a feeling that if I were _______ my wife would play with my pen1s a lot more...
←Rate | 07-27-2014 12:07 by indy dave Comments (0)  


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