huck Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I am the undefeated champion of this"smooshing-down-the-garbage-so-I-don't-have-to-take-it-out-for-another-day" game
←Rate | 09-06-2012 10:19 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I get my: Cereal from a tiger, Insurance from a gecko, Toilet paper from a bear, Financial advice from a gorilla. It's people I don't trust.
←Rate | 08-20-2013 15:43 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just a reminder that you don’t have to tell Facebook goodnight. You can just stop talking
←Rate | 04-30-2014 06:49 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon That prince in Sleeping Beauty doesn't get enough credit for kissing someone who hadn't brushed her teeth in forever.
←Rate | 04-11-2015 22:20 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't want to say I'm out of shape, but I can't even jog my memory without breaking a sweat.
←Rate | 04-29-2015 12:12 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every time I hear someone say Right About Now, I end it with Funk Soul Brother.
←Rate | 09-19-2012 09:11 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say "confidence" is the most attractive quality in a partner. But I'd have to say, "not banging my friends" would be a very close 2nd
←Rate | 10-07-2012 08:56 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I see names carved into a tree I don't think it's cute, I just think its strange how many people take knives on a date.
←Rate | 05-31-2013 06:15 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I go to someone's house & they tell me to make myself at home, the first thing I do is throw them out because I don't like visitors.
←Rate | 01-13-2014 05:50 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can tell yourself that Sesame Street is educational but Cookie Monster has lived there for like 40 years and still can't conjugate verbs.
←Rate | 08-23-2012 06:24 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Want to end road rage? Put manual windows in every car. By the time you're done rolling down your window to yell, you're too tired to be mad
←Rate | 02-26-2013 06:35 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just lost my mood ring, I don't know how I feel about that
←Rate | 03-02-2013 06:00 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon People are really judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.
←Rate | 08-08-2015 06:24 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon The dentist told me I need to be more aggressive when I floss so I've decided to start growling.
←Rate | 09-23-2014 05:27 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Few things in life are more pleasurable than turning off the lights in a public bathroom while people are still inside
←Rate | 02-14-2014 05:02 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever someone asks me to sign their cast, I always write: 'last warning, you have a week to get the money together.'
←Rate | 10-24-2013 21:27 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd save a lot more money on car insurance if they quit spending billions on advertising.
←Rate | 05-10-2013 06:18 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Helpful hint: You can park wherever you want if you put your hazard lights on and take your tire off.
←Rate | 08-17-2012 07:17 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't go to bars anymore, but I miss some things about it. So sometimes I wait outside my bathroom for 15 minutes when I'm dying to pee.
←Rate | 03-08-2013 06:10 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon If there is anything I learned from 80's movies it's that I'm the best around, and nothing is ever gonna keep me down
←Rate | 06-03-2014 19:53 by Huck Comments (0)  


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