gay jeffery Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon To save time on playing board games in my family, dad would take the game out of the box and go directly to the throwing it at the wall part
←Rate | 06-05-2012 09:13 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon I always introduce the women I date to my mom right away. It would be awkward if I didn't, she's the one who drives us to the restaurant.
←Rate | 06-01-2012 07:26 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet Biggie and Tupac would be impressed by how Drake and Chris Brown are having a tweet war.
←Rate | 06-01-2012 07:32 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon If we're gonna take this relationship to the next level, at some point you'll have to loosen my straps
←Rate | 06-12-2012 19:49 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon yes, people who are incredible still have to take out the trash - Mrs. Hulk
←Rate | 06-01-2012 07:30 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon ok boys The proper response to give when a girl at the bar agrees to give you her phone number is not "wow, really?"
←Rate | 06-01-2012 07:42 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon I thought I saw Keira Knightley laying by the side of the road but it turned out to be a fallen tree branch.
←Rate | 06-10-2012 05:11 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon Police officer: "license and registration" Me: "DO YOU KNOW WHO MY FATHER IS!?" Police officer: No Me: "me neither".
←Rate | 06-09-2012 07:51 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon I win a lot of arm wrestling matches because of my technique of looking my competitor in the eye while playing footsie under the table.
←Rate | 06-01-2012 08:13 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon i got stoned yesterday, tough crowds in Iran
←Rate | 06-11-2012 18:04 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon When people ask me "How's life?", I sing them the chorus of Akon's Lonely while crying and slowly walk away.
←Rate | 06-09-2012 08:16 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon The same fat ass who won't get off the couch for days will look like an Olympic speed walker when the pizza guy rings the doorbell.
←Rate | 06-01-2012 08:08 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon My dream job would be taking a baseball bat to the knees of anyone parked in a handicapped spot who shouldn't be
←Rate | 06-03-2012 13:33 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anyone that says "time is money" has never tried pay for a beer with 15 minutes.
←Rate | 06-01-2012 08:01 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I like to walk next to people and sync with their step
←Rate | 06-07-2012 23:18 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ive decided I'm going to be a better person starting now until the next time I check facebook.
←Rate | 06-24-2012 15:54 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm sorry, I thought you said you wanted multiple organisms. I'll return the petri dishes back to the lab.
←Rate | 06-05-2012 09:38 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon "LMAO!!" - Magneto, when he was confronted by Iron Man.
←Rate | 06-05-2012 09:48 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon “Get off my balcony!!” — What my neighbor used to say to pigeons. Sometimes to me.
←Rate | 06-02-2012 13:08 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon At this point, group photos of Aerosmith are indistinguishable from publicity stills for a roadshow of "Cats"
←Rate | 06-15-2012 23:52 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  




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