Zinc Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I'm so broke identity thieves sent a fruit basket with a note. "Sorry about the ID theft. Please tell your creditors to stop calling us."
←Rate | 03-25-2017 01:44 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say revenge is a dish best served cold. But they also say revenge is sweet. I think they are trying to say revenge is ice cream.
←Rate | 03-05-2012 23:26 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon can you spare just $2? Ranji is a 9 yr old boy living in Namibia. He has 1 leg, 1 arm, and 1 eye. Each day he rides 7 miles to school with a bike w/ bent wheels and no brakes. If you just send $2, we will send you the video it's freaking hilarious.
←Rate | 04-05-2012 00:13 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Due to inflation, a picture is now only worth 332 words.
←Rate | 03-16-2012 03:54 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was in a gang once — we used to carry pocket knives & wear all green with blood-red bandanas around our neck. Wait, that was Boy Scouts.
←Rate | 09-23-2015 22:53 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not sure why Amtraks slogan is not "Travel with your drugs, we won't check""
←Rate | 10-01-2015 21:16 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Turns out if you fake your death every monday work catches on.
←Rate | 03-17-2017 01:56 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon went to a karaoke bar that had no 70's songs. At first I was afraid, I was petrified.
←Rate | 12-01-2011 00:38 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon What idiot decided to call them marijuana dispensaries and not grass stations?
←Rate | 02-24-2015 18:13 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people lack the ability to laugh at themselves. That's where I come in.
←Rate | 05-28-2013 01:15 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it. - Clarence Darrow
←Rate | 10-10-2012 16:30 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be totally impossible!
←Rate | 02-24-2015 18:16 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook asks me what I'm thinking. Twitter asks me what I'm doing. 4square asks me where I am. Conclusion: the Internet is my girlfriend.
←Rate | 03-16-2012 03:50 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon the last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still technically on the list.
←Rate | 12-01-2011 00:45 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lacrosse is my favorite sport that combines looking like you're trying to catch a butterfly with having no friends @JhonRules
←Rate | 11-10-2015 00:54 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon hates double standards. If a chick bangs a bunch of dudes, she's a slut. If a guy does it, he's a homosexual.
←Rate | 12-01-2011 00:49 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some DJ keeps calling my phone and leaving me mixed messages.
←Rate | 03-05-2012 23:33 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can cope with voices in my head but it is the voices outside my head that are going to drive me crazy.
←Rate | 03-17-2016 12:10 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon glad I'm not bisexual. I couldn't stand being rejected by both men as well as women.
←Rate | 12-30-2011 01:55 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon life is short…smile while you still have teeth
←Rate | 05-23-2016 16:20 by Zinc Comments (0)  



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