Timboss Funny Status Messages

   ahhh! The life of an overworked Zombie

   So what if we find out tha Charlie Sheen has been right all along, and the rest of us have been wrong?

   Rest in Peace Sheriff Taylor.. You will be remembered and loved.

   Of all the lies I've told in my life, "just kidding" is probably my favorite..

   I really should bring the chair at work home with me so I can get some sleep at night...

   You couldn't chain me up and drag me into a WalMart today!

   I just googled, "Gift ideas for wife" One website suggested a cooking class. They must have thought I meant, "Gift ideas for wife if you want to sleep on the couch forever."

   wishes I would have got a new cell phone from Santa this year.. This rotary texting is really a drag.

   God made your butt crack up and down because if it were sideways, when you went down a slide it would sound like this bufufufufufufufuublubufubufbufbufbuf

   just caught a glimpse of the supermoon coming from behind the clouds.. It looked like..... the moon!

   gonna have to go fight the holiday crowds at Wal-Mart. hmm.. Long Bow or Broad Sword?

   just turned the news on and they were talking about Justin Beiber getting a haircut. Really? The world is going to hell in a hand basket.. but Justin Beiber got a haircut.. Who gives a rip??

   it just me, or does el Chapo sound like a low budget Mexican Restauraunt? Where ya wanna go eat? I duuno.. Let's try el Chapo's

   just saw where the movie "Ground Hog Day" is coming on tonight.. Oh.. Wait a minute.. That's President Obama's job speech.. sorry

   Quote of the week "Tactically, it's all going as planned.." Qaddafi

   I just went out and witnessed the transit of venus.. Now I have no retinas...

   seeing William and Harry all decked out in their uniforms yesterday.. I kept expecting them to break into that Sondheim tune from "Into The Woods" AGONY!

   I hate when my winks and happy faces are split.. and continued on the next line :-/

   Nothing aggravates me more than to hear a career politician say, "I am not a career politician."

   I just got out of bed and decided I'd trim that annoying hair on my eyebrow that kept getting in my eye last night... Now I have half an eyebrow