Starman Funny Status Messages

   "It doesn't bother me that my wife goes out to play BINGO every night. It's the coming back home part that does.

   "If during your medical exam your doctor says I need to google this...... It's time to get a new doctor."

   You know you're fat when your dog lays down in your shaddow on hot sunny days.

   Men try role reversal in bed, and you have a headache for once.

   When the judge told Mickey he couldn't grant his divorce from Minnie just because you say she crazy. Mickey said, I didn't say she crazy..... I said she's f***ing Goofy.

   Now days crappy guys only want one thing from a woman. Back in the old days, they wanted them to also do the dishes and keep house.

   Today is national wear your pajamas to work day. Didn't that start when the stay at home orders went into effect?

   Marriage is the main cause of divorce.

   Everyone knows that Santa lives at the North Pole, but does anyone know where the Easter Bunny lives?

   "A trail of clothes leading up to a bedroom before marriage ment a night of pashionate love making. Now it means you dropped them on your way from the dryer.

   What do you do if you are an atheist and your stuck behind a car that has a "HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS" bumber sticker?

   Selling homing pigeons is a lucrative, and well return business.

   The two things a wife can do to make her husband happy are, pack her bags and leave.