Nunthewizr Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I prefer the button fly. That is one place on my wardrobe I do not need sharp interlocking metal teeth.
←Rate | 11-09-2010 19:15 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thinks my OCD is getting worse. Did I hit post? Wait a minute , did I even type it yet? I'm pretty sure I hit post but am not sure. Yeah, I did. Well, maybe I didn't. I better double-check. Yeah, I did. No, I didn't. Dang!!! What was I going to post again
←Rate | 02-26-2010 16:09 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If getting into heaven is based on how many times you have tried to close the elevator door before someone else gets on, I am screwed.
←Rate | 12-21-2012 09:40 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saw a guy return a wedding set at Walmart today and get his $36 back. I'm guessing her answer was, "No."
←Rate | 02-15-2011 21:26 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Really struggling on what to get my girlfriend for Valentines Day. I mean, I'd hate to get her the same thing as her Husband does. That would be embarassing.
←Rate | 02-13-2011 18:00 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am thankful for the hide feature on FB.
←Rate | 11-23-2010 18:51 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Things I'm confused by: how did Rub a Dub Dub, Three Men in a Tub become a nursery rhyme?
←Rate | 07-07-2013 19:43 by Nunthewizr Comments (1)  


   messageicon I can be the only guy at Walmart at two in the morning but as soon as I whip that box of Tampax on the belt, the checkout line is full and they do a price check.
←Rate | 07-27-2010 20:44 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Would it be good news or bad news if your Girlfriend told you that she was already married???
←Rate | 09-09-2010 17:33 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies….there is a difference between fake tanning and changing your entire ethnicity during the winter months.
←Rate | 02-26-2014 10:01 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon One of the best parts about Saturday and Sunday mornings is reading the Status Updates people post after a night of drinking.
←Rate | 08-28-2010 19:51 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon When your children come up to you after a minor incident and say," This is the worst day of my life!!!" Just look at them.....smile......and say, "You haven't seen anything yet".
←Rate | 03-29-2010 19:36 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Even though he was voiced by James Earl Jones, Darth Vader definitely wasn't black because he never would have admitted he was Luke's father.
←Rate | 11-19-2011 22:05 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon As much as your kids are at my house, you should pay me child support.
←Rate | 11-14-2010 20:06 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Skort: skirt in the front, shorts in the back; it's like a mullet for your butt!!
←Rate | 05-19-2011 17:13 by Nunthewizr Comments (1)  


   messageicon Screaming "Autobots, ROLL OUT" at someone in a wheelchair isn't funny. Everyone knows handicapped people are Decepticons................and my place in Hell is secured for the day.
←Rate | 02-04-2014 19:55 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon iF YoU tyPE LiKE ThiS, YoU'rE prOBAblY tOo YoUNG To bE oN fACebOoK.
←Rate | 06-05-2010 21:12 by nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
←Rate | 10-17-2010 12:58 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I die, donate my teeth to the Walmart Cashiers.
←Rate | 07-19-2014 10:23 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The bell ringers are out in full force already. I really don't mind and know it's for a good cause. I just hate the fact that it feels like I'm paying a "cover charge" to go into Walmart.
←Rate | 11-18-2010 14:45 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  



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