Maureen Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon would like "Reasons I Don't Want To Be At Work Today" for $200, Alex.
←Rate | 04-14-2010 16:16 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon making my list and checking it twice due to early on-set senility!
←Rate | 12-15-2010 09:30 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon just found out that a "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second. Apparently, I'm not getting ready in a "jiffy" any more.
←Rate | 02-04-2012 10:39 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon don't put words in my mouth...my foot is already in there.
←Rate | 02-11-2012 22:45 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon difficulty trusting someone with colored contacts...they have already lied to me once.
←Rate | 02-22-2012 13:06 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are times I'll make up words and slip them into conversations just to see if anyone is actually protempifying to what I'm saying.
←Rate | 04-26-2012 21:48 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon does my BEST proofreading right after I hit send!
←Rate | 04-11-2012 20:36 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why has no one invented a device where I can move myself around from place to place while lying in a hammock? I remember when we used to make stuff in this lazy country!
←Rate | 07-19-2012 19:28 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon As a responsible parent, I like to teach my kids that it's not the person you hate...it's their guts!
←Rate | 08-08-2012 20:41 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon discovered pretending I'm sleeping to avoid something never gets old!
←Rate | 02-23-2012 18:17 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon My house looks like a tornado sat around all day and watched TV.
←Rate | 02-19-2012 23:37 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon My son just tried to claim that his room is not messy…that it is merely set up in obstacle-like manner to keep him fit.
←Rate | 04-11-2012 22:50 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guys - A few words of wisdom...when a woman asks for your opinion, she doesn't want to hear your "actual" opinion, she simply wants to hear her opinion in a deeper voice.
←Rate | 03-04-2013 20:20 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon stuck at work – and by “stuck” I mean drinking and by “work” I mean sitting in the recliner!
←Rate | 02-23-2012 18:15 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon may not have the best parenting skills; but, in my defense, my kids don't have the best childing skills, either.
←Rate | 10-04-2014 12:32 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon gets the feeling that I need coffee more than coffee will ever need me.
←Rate | 03-06-2013 08:07 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does anyone know where I can return 10 Lords a Leaping without a gift receipt?
←Rate | 12-26-2011 19:37 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon UPS delivery guys don't like it when you go up to their truck and order an ice cream sandwich and a bomb pop.
←Rate | 06-24-2013 20:31 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon can't understand why Victoria's Secret incorrectly refers to these "wine-drinking, recliner pants" I'm wearing as "yoga pants."
←Rate | 08-13-2012 19:21 by Maureen Comments (0)  


   messageicon NOTE TO SELF – Do NOT set your password reminder as “You Should Know This!!”
←Rate | 04-02-2012 11:25 by Maureen Comments (0)  



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