Markf Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon relieved to see Facebook finally expanded the Religion choice to include Amish, for all those Amish people out there with computers.
←Rate | 10-12-2010 12:20 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon glad to hear that SeaWorld is reopening its "safer" shows this week featuring Norman, the Involuntary Manslaughter Whale.
←Rate | 03-01-2010 07:51 by markf Comments (1)  


   messageicon wondering why people with bad breath are always wanting to tell me a secret.
←Rate | 06-30-2010 08:48 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinking that now the Government of Egypt has banned all internet traffic, do we just call it Gypt?
←Rate | 02-02-2011 10:48 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon just had a work email from someone asking to "bare with me" until the system is back up. I replied that I didn't see how nudity would fix the problem.
←Rate | 03-10-2010 11:02 by markf Comments (2)  


   messageicon realizes he is too apologetic sometimes. Sorry.
←Rate | 03-30-2010 12:50 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering why someone would put down their needle anywhere near a haystack.
←Rate | 07-01-2010 07:58 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon passed a door in the stairwell with the sign: "Door is Alarmed." I told it to relax, everything is going to be okay.
←Rate | 06-30-2010 09:00 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks Toyota should change its motto from "Moving Forward" to "MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!"
←Rate | 02-04-2010 16:31 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon sure now that after Mark Zuckerberg (founder of Facebook) was just announced as the youngest billionaire on Forbe's list, his mom doesn't tell him he's spending too much time on Facebook.
←Rate | 03-11-2010 09:44 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon saw a man get out of his convertible at Wal-Mart yesterday, take two steps and then turn back to lock the doors. I chuckled because the top was down.
←Rate | 03-26-2010 09:03 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon can't figure out why the Toyota Prius owners would be worried about brakes, since the car can't go fast enough to hurt anything anyway.
←Rate | 02-04-2010 16:29 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon relieved that even tho 230,000 government workers couldn't make it past the blizzard to work in DC this week, the country has somehow managed to continue as if nothing happened.
←Rate | 02-10-2010 10:04 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon looking at the "voluntary" tax contribution box on his 1040 form and wondering what planet those IRS guys are from.
←Rate | 04-12-2010 08:48 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinking that Venti must be the Italian word for "you just paid an insane amount of money for a cup of coffee."
←Rate | 11-18-2010 09:43 by markf Comments (1)  


   messageicon Think I will use this CSV receipt to wrap up like a mummy for Halloween. BONUS: You can scan me for $1 off any 2 liter drink
←Rate | 09-28-2017 21:42 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have learned to protect myself against identity theft by keeping a low credit score and no money.
←Rate | 04-26-2018 08:10 by markf Comments (1)  


   messageicon would like to see a more man-friendly mall for next Christmas. It needs to have a Home Depot, AutoZone, Bass Pro Shop, Lowe's, Sears, Gander Mtn, Pep Boys, a Longhorn Steakhouse and ESPN radio playing over the christmas tunes.
←Rate | 12-23-2010 07:32 by markf Comments (1)  


   messageicon If I live to be 100, I will just make up a reason when people ask how. "I eat acorns every day."
←Rate | 10-02-2017 19:00 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon How do dragons blow out candles on their birthday cake?
←Rate | 01-09-2018 17:58 by markf Comments (0)  




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