K-Mac Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon These dating sites keep setting me up with weirdos, then I realized that they match you with people with similar interests.
←Rate | 10-05-2011 08:45 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Damn, three raptures and I'm still here....I'm starting to think there must be something wrong with me.
←Rate | 10-22-2011 08:17 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm pretty sure my dying wish would be to stop dying.
←Rate | 05-05-2012 21:36 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon After years of watching CSI, I still have never figured out why, when they walk into a dark house, they do their investigation with flashlights. One would think you could do a more thorough job if you flipped on the light.
←Rate | 09-29-2011 20:04 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have company coming, does a spork go on the right or left side?
←Rate | 10-02-2012 17:26 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon I guess North Korea's illustrious leader is too stupid to realize if he launches an attack, North Korea will be wiped from the map.
←Rate | 04-04-2013 07:29 by K-Mac Comments (1)  


   messageicon Time to go out and pretend I'm putting up Christmas lights I never took down from last year.
←Rate | 10-29-2011 14:39 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think before we vote, we should get the politicians drunk. That way they would speak what's REALLY on their minds.
←Rate | 06-10-2012 12:43 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never look for leftover fireworks in your car with a lighter. Good news is I now have a sunroof.
←Rate | 07-05-2012 18:54 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon My elderly neighbor wanted to know what my email number was.
←Rate | 01-22-2012 19:53 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon After the Rapture, can I have your car?
←Rate | 05-17-2011 17:24 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Late fees make no sense. Charge me more money for not having enough money to pay you in the first place. Same with overdraft fees. I'm $2.00 short in my account (which means there is no money in there)......so take out $35.00 more.
←Rate | 01-21-2012 09:41 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon I drove by a yard sale today. I know this because they had a child standing out front holding a sign that read "Yard Sale". Apparently they couldn't afford a stick.
←Rate | 06-17-2011 19:24 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can rise or shine...take your pick.
←Rate | 08-14-2011 23:14 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon We have come so far. Computers, Moon landing, Mars rover, Hubble telescope taking pictures of thing light years away...and yet we still need a sign telling employees to wash their hands.
←Rate | 03-14-2012 09:15 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon My neighbor asked me to look something up on my "internet machine".
←Rate | 01-23-2012 17:02 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm going to admit myself into the Hokey-Pokey Institute and turn my life around.
←Rate | 01-15-2012 14:57 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Actually saw two young people talking today. Parents must have grounded them from their phones.
←Rate | 01-30-2013 08:58 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your house is hit by a dolphin, don't go outside to see if the dolphin is alright, that's how the hurricane tricks you to come outside.
←Rate | 03-18-2012 15:35 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I wish animals could talk....then I remember all the things my cats have seen me do when I'm alone and I'm very grateful they can't.
←Rate | 02-20-2012 12:29 by K-Mac Comments (0)  



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