Hot Tea Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Plan B includes margaritas.
←Rate | 01-26-2011 22:03 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Facebook ever starts showing how many times a person has visited someone's profile, a lot of people are going to have some explaining to do.
←Rate | 09-09-2011 01:29 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't run away from my problems so much as I let them go on ahead without me.
←Rate | 09-04-2011 19:33 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon It really sucks when your in the middle of something and your batteries go dead.
←Rate | 01-15-2011 02:35 by Hot Tea Comments (3)  


   messageicon FOUND: IPod Touch 4G, 32GB, white. Must be able to match the naked pics I found in the photos.
←Rate | 03-02-2012 20:49 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I ever kick the bucket, can I get one of you to wipe out my computer and empty the top drawer next to my bed?
←Rate | 01-16-2011 21:30 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon My youngest turns 13 in a couple of weeks, which means I'll have three teenagers in the house. I can only assume that qualifies me for some sort of federal disaster relief funding.
←Rate | 07-20-2011 21:55 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I gotta feeling... that tonight's gonna hurt the Black Eyed Peas"
←Rate | 02-06-2011 20:38 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Consider the social cohesion and dignity of the Japanese people in the face of unimaginable catastrophe. Contrast that with the behavior of Americans when faced with Black Friday.
←Rate | 03-16-2011 18:00 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes, the problem is your underwear.
←Rate | 10-26-2010 21:22 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon in the worst pain I've ever been in!! Hit a dry spot on a Slip n' Slide.
←Rate | 06-25-2011 23:03 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Typical Saturday Morning: Who's bed is this and where are my pants?
←Rate | 06-25-2011 23:04 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon completely unaware that October was Vagina Awareness Month. I thought all the twats on TV were due to the upcoming election.
←Rate | 10-22-2010 14:18 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon currently in the planning stages for a hangover.
←Rate | 11-05-2011 14:40 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a plan that will give us oil for hundreds of more years. Unfortunately, it hinges on the Earth being shaped like a tube of toothpaste.
←Rate | 02-29-2012 03:39 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon made an observation at the drug store today. There's an aisle that pretty much sums up the phases of life in products. Diapers, condoms, and adult diapers. From peeing in your pants, to lots of sex, then, back to peeing in your pants.
←Rate | 08-01-2011 20:36 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently riding the dog like it's a small horse is FROWNED UPON in this ESTABLISHMENT!
←Rate | 01-04-2011 22:38 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Am I the only one that thinks it's creepy for women to call their men "Daddy"?
←Rate | 07-08-2011 23:36 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me: "What color hair does the tooth fairy have?" My son: "Red, because it is you. I don't believe in fairies." My other son: "Her hair is gray. She colors it." Maybe I should have taught them to believe in fairies.
←Rate | 08-03-2011 11:22 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon pretty sure I just ate a record setting amount of Rice Krispies!
←Rate | 01-17-2011 22:50 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  



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