Hiyourjon Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon TO THE GOVERNMENT AGENTS WHO'VE BEEN ILLEGALLY MONITORING OUR TEXTS, ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS THIS: Was that message I sent Ashley too forward?
←Rate | 06-07-2013 18:10 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm proud of anyone who has quit doing drugs and alcohol, I don't want to hang out with you now... but I'm still very proud...
←Rate | 06-09-2013 22:38 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pumped for the series finale of the U.S. government!
←Rate | 09-29-2013 18:15 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon How to tie the strongest knot ever? Step 1: Put your headphones in your pocket. Step 2: Wait 1 minute.
←Rate | 07-30-2013 09:31 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Neil Armstrong lands on the moon: 5 pictures. Girl goes to Starbucks: 47 pictures.
←Rate | 01-09-2014 16:48 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon When one door closes, another one opens. Then you're inside Walmart.
←Rate | 08-15-2013 18:54 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon "No thanks, I'm vegetarian" is a fun thing to say when someone tries to hand you their baby.
←Rate | 05-11-2013 20:57 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon THEY'RE over THERE worrying about THEIR grammar, while YOU'RE right here concerned with YOUR punctuation. YOU'RE welcome TO share this, TOO.
←Rate | 05-31-2012 13:57 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I was The Bachelor we'd all play Mario Kart for 8 weeks, then I'd pick the one with the biggest boobs
←Rate | 08-28-2013 08:35 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Better ingredients. Better pizza. Horrible acting. Papa Johns.
←Rate | 01-03-2014 15:34 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon A lifetime of fire drills has prepared me to completely ignore the alarm during a real fire.
←Rate | 07-17-2013 15:56 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Judging by all the cracking and popping noises my body makes when I work out, I'd say I'm about 74% Rice Krispies.
←Rate | 06-05-2013 18:48 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm sorry, but since when did an unmarried minority couple naming their baby something stupid become news?
←Rate | 06-21-2013 15:14 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office is in big trouble. You have my Word.
←Rate | 06-30-2013 15:51 by HiYourJon Comments (1)  


   messageicon Justin Bieber wants to take Paul Walkers place in the new Fast and Furious film. Why doesn't he take his place in the car accident instead?
←Rate | 12-14-2013 20:40 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon My doctor said I should eat more Taco Bell. He actually said "Less McDonald's", but I'm pretty sure I know what he meant.
←Rate | 07-12-2013 11:28 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon very sad that fathers only get one day but sharks get a whole week
←Rate | 06-16-2013 13:13 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Relationships are mostly you apologizing for saying something hilarious
←Rate | 08-28-2013 13:00 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet Bruce Wayne sometimes accidentally signs his credit card receipts "Batman" when he's drunk. I know I do.
←Rate | 01-03-2014 15:32 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon at this point in our culture I'm very surprised there aren't people with nut allergies boycotting the peanuts movie
←Rate | 11-09-2015 12:15 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  




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