Heather25 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon wonders if there is a manly way to eat a banana??
←Rate | 09-27-2010 03:58 by Heather25 Comments (2)  


   messageicon Coffee's poured? Check. Facebook's running? Check. So far so good. Now I'm ready for the day to go to hell as usual.
←Rate | 12-08-2010 15:14 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Alarm clocks. Because every morning should begin with a heart attack.
←Rate | 12-07-2010 15:05 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A husband asks: Why do you weep and snuffle over a TV program and the imaginary sadness of people you have never met? Wife: For the same reason you scream and yell when a man you don't know makes a touchdown.
←Rate | 11-15-2010 15:41 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon These pills aren't addictive - I've been taking them for years.
←Rate | 10-01-2010 14:49 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why worry about the world ending today, Its tommorow in Japan.
←Rate | 10-01-2010 14:40 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I offend you in any way, please let me know so I can do it again.
←Rate | 10-09-2010 19:40 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If anybody asks, I was on Facebook all night tonight, okay? Thanks for having my back, everyone.
←Rate | 10-09-2010 20:25 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon They said not to sniff markers, but then they made scented ones...
←Rate | 12-08-2010 14:54 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yes officer, I did hit the pedestrian, but instead of dwelling on that why not focus on how many I've missed??
←Rate | 12-03-2010 09:41 by Heather25 Comments (2)  


   messageicon I've given up jogging for GOOD! I realized it was hazardous to my health after my thighs rubbed together so much my underwear caught on fire!
←Rate | 12-03-2010 09:30 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Was always told to practice the Golden Rule-treat others like I wanted to be treated...so I spanked you and pulled your hair.
←Rate | 12-03-2010 11:33 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon bored of poking, can we have a spank button??
←Rate | 10-20-2010 13:43 by Heather25 Comments (2)  


   messageicon not really rude, she just says what everybody else is thinking.
←Rate | 10-09-2010 19:44 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon anything more annoying then a stupid person who clearly doesn't know they are stupid!?
←Rate | 10-11-2010 18:42 by Heather25 Comments (1)  


   messageicon For those of you who like to STIR THE POT..be sure you get a good grip on the handle!!
←Rate | 10-11-2010 18:44 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder how police on bikes arrest people, "Alright, get in the basket."
←Rate | 10-09-2010 20:13 by Heather25 Comments (2)  


   messageicon Teamwork is essential - it allows you to blame someone else.
←Rate | 10-01-2010 14:34 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Here's the best advice of the day: If you call a psychic and they don't greet you by name, HANG UP!!!
←Rate | 12-07-2010 15:50 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. ;)
←Rate | 10-01-2010 13:31 by Heather25 Comments (0)  



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