FLA PAULY Funny Status Messages

   Congress is making it look like the British Royal family is doing a lot.

   Accompanied by girlfriend to a special screening of "Magic Mike XXL" last night. The nudity....The foul language.... The ladies screaming at the top of their lungs. And that was just me standing in line for popcorn....

   Happy Earth Day. Please keep it clean. After all.... it's not Uranus!!!

   You know you're drunk when you swerve to miss a tree and it's the air freshener in your car!!!!

   It's God Bless... Not Good Bless.... And that's why we look like morons!!

   I'm way way way more concerned about the adults still writing think-pieces today on Miley Cyrus than Miley Cyrus.

   Well, New England Patriot, Aaron Hernandez, was thrown into jail this morning. Looks like he's going from a tight end position to a wide receiver.

   Ready for Hurricane Isaac!! All the tape and plywood making driving tricky tho'!!