Dylan Bosch Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night!"
←Rate | 03-28-2010 02:11 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some 12 year old called my house at 2:45 this morning to ask if I ordered Indian food. I said, "Are you serious? I ordered that 8 hours ago!" He stuttered, apologized, and hung up! Prank Call Reversal!
←Rate | 05-13-2011 11:25 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon My road rage doubles in winter. Not only does everyone drive like they're 100 years old, but I get even more enraged when I flip someone off and realize I'm wearing mittens. Now I'm pissed and embarassed."
←Rate | 03-04-2011 11:32 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon hates that kids complain about video games for "Loading"... Back in my day we had to blow the sh*t out of games just to play'em and even then it was a gamble to work. So kids, Shut up!"
←Rate | 09-30-2010 01:18 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I smile in the middle of telling a story, not because I'm fondly remembering something, but because I'm impressed with the BS I am creating on the spot."
←Rate | 03-04-2011 23:27 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pandora tells me what music I like, Netflix tells me what movies I like.. Refrigerator: Why are you such a slacker?!"
←Rate | 03-03-2011 18:38 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Any story you tell about something you did the night before, that starts with the word "Apparently," is probably awesome."
←Rate | 05-09-2011 14:26 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never hold your farts in. They go up your Spine then into your mind and that's where you're shi*ty idea's come from!"
←Rate | 08-19-2010 13:46 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a recurring, hour-long meeting set on my work calendar for 4pm on Fridays. There's no actual meeting, but I'll be damned if I let someone schedule a real one at that time."
←Rate | 03-04-2011 11:20 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's pretty sad when the highlight of a three hour football game is out staged by a red m&m."
←Rate | 02-05-2012 22:40 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon A Brunette, A Blonde and a Man with Dandruff walk out of an Elevator, The Brunette says to the Blonde "Someone need's to give that guy some Head & Shoulders!" the Blonde asks "How do you give Shoulders?"
←Rate | 08-18-2010 23:39 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon ...remember when we were YOUNG and couldn't wait to grow up? ...WOW, what the hell were we thinking!?!?"
←Rate | 05-11-2011 23:14 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon It bothers me that someone may steal my identity and use it to make thousands of dollars behind my back. It bothers me because I currently have my identity and can't figure out how to do that.."
←Rate | 07-22-2011 11:32 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you die in a manner that leaves your body unrecognizable they identify you by your dental records; if they don't know who you are, how in the world would they know who your dentist is?"
←Rate | 03-04-2011 11:18 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon some girl told me straight up that she had a boyfriend.. I said well I have a Goldfish! she said what? Oh, I thought we were talking about sh*t that didn't matter."
←Rate | 04-27-2010 18:19 by Dylan Bosch Comments (1)  


   messageicon Nice guys finish last... because they make sure their women come first ;)
←Rate | 03-05-2011 00:05 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know college has changed you when you see your 6 year old niece drinking out of a red plastic cup, and you scream, "Don't drink that... juice." Oh.
←Rate | 08-24-2011 00:45 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know I like my status updates like I like my mini skirts. Long enough to cover the important parts but short enough to keep things interesting."
←Rate | 08-17-2010 20:55 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon I Don't Care what anybody says, Nothing says I Love you more like standing in line for you're girl to buy tampax pearl."
←Rate | 09-06-2010 12:04 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon the NFL aka No F***in Lights."
←Rate | 02-03-2013 20:49 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  




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