Dude Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon What I call morning wood, you're gonna call breakfast in bed.
←Rate | 10-27-2013 20:37 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mayweather landed more punches on his wife than he did on Manny.
←Rate | 05-03-2015 02:23 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never get attached to your coworkers. You might have to throw them at a deranged gunman someday
←Rate | 10-02-2015 12:24 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon Her: Who's your favorite Kardashian? Me: Uummm...Gul Dukat.
←Rate | 05-24-2015 04:33 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon A man hits his wife with a car, whose fault is it? The mans, he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen.
←Rate | 03-19-2015 04:34 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do what's right to do, not what you're told to do.
←Rate | 05-30-2015 07:55 by Dude Comments (1)  


   messageicon Q: What's more disgusting than a hicky on a hemorrhoid? A: The chick that put it there.
←Rate | 12-06-2014 08:22 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon With all the social injustice and government misconduct all over the world at a fever pitch, lets go ahead and focus on deflated footballs and soccer corruption instead.
←Rate | 05-27-2015 11:41 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies, if you're gonna catfish a dude, at least give him some head.
←Rate | 05-08-2014 14:17 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon If being gay was so wrong, then why didn't it make it onto God's top 10 list?
←Rate | 07-06-2015 11:14 by Dude Comments (2)  


   messageicon It's the Holiday Season; clean your own spunk off her back.
←Rate | 12-02-2014 05:24 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mexico is like America's basement; yea, it's a little dirtier, but it's a lot more fun.
←Rate | 05-20-2015 10:30 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've decided to become a Veterinarian and a taxidermist so no matter what, you'll get your dog back.
←Rate | 05-08-2015 23:31 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon Arkansas is like a pretty bimbo who's a lousy lay. Nice to look at but not very stimulating.
←Rate | 05-25-2014 06:35 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon Childhood I'd idolizing Batman. Adulthood is realizing The Joker made more sense.
←Rate | 05-30-2015 10:32 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only time your woman screams your nam ein bed is when you fart in your sleep.
←Rate | 05-01-2015 05:27 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon How you get almond milk? Almonds ain't got no nipples!
←Rate | 05-06-2015 10:21 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon What you call "camping", I call "aggresive waiting".
←Rate | 07-05-2014 05:46 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love you, flushable baby wipes.
←Rate | 07-16-2014 01:44 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon I put my phone in airplane mode and it immediately broke into pieces and crashed on the floor.
←Rate | 02-24-2021 22:44 by Dude Comments (0)  



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