Dopey420 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot them?
←Rate | 01-25-2011 17:29 by Dopey420 Comments (1)  


   messageicon If you're looking for sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary between "sh!t" and "syphilis."
←Rate | 01-25-2011 17:02 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
←Rate | 01-25-2011 16:39 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
←Rate | 01-25-2011 16:19 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon why do all the new smartphones have porn on them? Who in their right mind is out in public thinking, "ya know i'd really like to jerk off right now"?
←Rate | 01-18-2011 09:33 by dopey420 Comments (3)  


   messageicon I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.
←Rate | 01-25-2011 17:35 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everybody in Chicago is moaning about the snow. Um it is winter and it is Chicago, what dou you expect? Sunshine and lollipops?
←Rate | 02-03-2011 05:46 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stalking is such a strong word. I prefer extreme follow the leader :)
←Rate | 01-24-2011 08:15 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two winners for mega millions. One in Indiana and one in Michigan. I hope they both lose their tickets in the snow!
←Rate | 02-02-2011 05:48 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bi**h slap them!
←Rate | 01-25-2011 12:35 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is really a Miss Facebook beauty pageant. I wonder if the bathroom pictures are scored lower?
←Rate | 01-31-2011 19:15 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Missing wife and dog. Reward for dog.
←Rate | 02-26-2011 14:08 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two years ago I married a lovely young virgin, and if that doesn't change soon, I'm gonna divorce her.
←Rate | 01-25-2011 17:45 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Next up on espn , womans soc... click.
←Rate | 07-06-2011 12:43 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
←Rate | 06-27-2011 17:32 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking. A wise man tells her she looks extremely beautiful when her lips are closed.
←Rate | 06-27-2011 09:57 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon According to a new survey, 40% of adults in Mexico say they would move to the United States if they got a chance. The number would have been higher, but the other 60% already live here.
←Rate | 01-19-2011 11:32 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ⓘ ⓦⓐⓢ ⓑⓞⓡⓔⓓ, ⓢⓞ ⓘ ⓓⓔ©ⓘⓓⓔⓓ ⓣⓞ ⓟⓤⓣ ⓛⓔⓣⓣⓔⓡⓢ ⓘⓝⓢⓘⓓⓔ ⓑⓤⓑⓑⓛⓔⓢ.
←Rate | 01-25-2011 13:10 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 57. Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed
←Rate | 01-20-2011 06:53 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Go ahead, tell us everything you know. It'll only take 10 seconds.
←Rate | 02-04-2011 23:34 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  



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