Doc Noland Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I have been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now I may as well call them traditions
←Rate | 01-21-2013 09:41 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon it rude to throw a breath-mint in someone's mouth while they are talking?
←Rate | 10-02-2012 15:18 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon People!! I have been watching the news the last few days. Now, I never took journalism class, but I'm petty sure "Don't Interview Traumatized Children" came right before "Learn To Spell".
←Rate | 12-16-2012 09:12 by Doc Noland Comments (2)  


   messageicon I feel like I should apologize to my shower drain.
←Rate | 10-31-2011 19:53 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best thing about using exclamation marks is that no one knows how sad you are!!!
←Rate | 06-12-2011 12:50 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I can make you laugh with a Facebook Status... Imagine what I could do if we met at a bar.
←Rate | 06-14-2012 20:29 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate it when totally random strangers ask me stupid questions like "Why are you licking me?"
←Rate | 10-12-2012 09:31 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon The worst part of seeing a spider in the shower was the way it covered it's eyes when it saw me.
←Rate | 06-14-2012 20:50 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Once I get my paycheck I turn into Gollum from 'The Lord of the Rings'.
←Rate | 03-02-2012 10:58 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon it weird that one of my nuts is bigger than the other two?
←Rate | 10-31-2011 19:50 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon My status would be a lot funnier if you could see my back-up dancers.
←Rate | 12-28-2011 18:28 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Alcohol does kill brain cells. As a kid I could name all the dinosaurs. Now I can name maybe three, and I'm not even sure armadillos count.
←Rate | 10-23-2012 09:50 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need a new refrigerator. There's no food in mine.
←Rate | 12-27-2011 00:15 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Okla. killer dies after botched execution. How long did it take his victim to die after being shot and buried alive?
←Rate | 04-30-2014 18:22 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck it's a drunk white woman having her picture taken in the club.
←Rate | 01-21-2012 20:22 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon The car seats in your Neon really accentuate your gangsta lean bro.
←Rate | 04-20-2014 23:03 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet most braille on public signs says: "How did you know this was here?"
←Rate | 03-02-2012 10:59 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't have the blood alcohol level to deal with you
←Rate | 04-30-2014 18:23 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think I need to lose some weight. I tried to sit up earlier and ended up rocking myself to sleep
←Rate | 07-03-2011 21:23 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever since I started working out every day, I can really see a difference in how accomplished I am as a liar.
←Rate | 04-03-2012 18:36 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  



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