Corey C Funny Status Messages

   Wanted, Teenager owners manuel for models 1993 thru 1996. Must be kid tested and mother approved.

   friends don't let friends drink with Ben Roethlisberger.

   resistance is futile, you will be assimilated. We are facebook.

   no keys were harmed in the making of this status quote.

   saw clash of the titans last night, my mother in law won the battle.

   The nice thing about being overweight is, if challenged, you can crush the competition....on a lighter note, you can then finish your donut......

   Sorry Monday but it's over. I am leaving you for Tuesday, please don't be sad.....I have to look to the future....

   Just experienced that rare moment when you flip your hoody up just right and realize that if ever called upon you could wield a light saber and take orders from a little green creature with big ears.....

   Got a friend request the other day from someone I didn't know. Checked out her friends list to see a connection and she had a collection of Corey's. Scary, she wanted me to become her 312th Corey friend in her Corey collection.........Makes me a little un

   I went and saw beauty and the beast the other day, it wasn't as interesting as I thought it would be. He was pushing a cart and she was drinking a diet coke while sifting through the 5 dollar movies at Wal Mart........

   It was a toss up tonight between turning on the nightly news or migrating to Singapore to get an Organ illegally harvested.

   I just descovered 3 words to make any teenager run in terror. "Time To Clean".....

   Did my good deed for the day. Rescued a poor little beer from the fridge.....It's name was miller lite and it was a cool little dude.

   had the urge to clean today untill I turned on NFL REDZONE. The urge soon passed, I did clean my plate off at lunch time......does that count?????

   Heard a dude in the stall next to me in the Walmart Bathroom say "There can be only One".. He is either a Highlander or he needs some more toilet paper.......

   Its my day to protect and Serve. Protecting the donuts and serving the coffee is my specialty.

   My Bathroom scale just did 0 to 235 in 3 seconds, who needs a sports car? Wow thats fast........

   Want to fight? Stick your head up your butt and fight for air.

   Ever wonder why the side of the car says" to protect and serve"????? Protect the donuts and serve the coffee................

   before getting married there are 2 words a man must know that are crucial to his survival....."Yes Dear"........