CindyAnn Funny Status Messages

   I fart, because it's the only gas I can afford.

   Wife math: "it was like 100 bucks" = it was at least $250.00.

   thinks that proofreading is my worst enema.

   thinks that "Ignorance is bliss" is my personal motto because it hasn't steered me wrong and even if it has, how would I know?

   Remove all the vowels from boys = BS, remove all vowels from females = FML

   sure that if I ever went to a psychologist, he'd tell me that ALL my personalities are fine...except my REAl one.

   When I think of a good status update in the shower, I run out dripping & naked and post it before the internet ends and it's too late.

   sometimes when I read certain things it's like having my eyes raped by stupidity.

   Think I'm about to have a boregasm.

   ♥ ♥ ♥ Heartworms ♥ ♥ ♥ Not as cute as they sound.

   Some people in your life are there to serve a certain purpose, well this is your notice your services are no longer needed.

   I have no point.... I have a sharp knife tho, will that make up for it?

   Just when I think I couldn't possibly be any lazier, I surprise myself.

   Why can't the world come to Peace rather than Pieces?

   Do you ever stop and think about the days before Facebook, when you would do something and actually not tell anyone?

   Secret to using the best approach when attempting to engage in conversation with me ... don't.

   Got a flat tire... Pulled over to change it. Stupid guy says, "Did your tire go flat?" I said " No, I was driving along and the other 3 just swelled up!"

   How dare you steal my status and not like it first! Stop.............(runs after) thief!!!

   Here is the line _____ do me a favor and don't cross it.

   Today, I saw a couple of beetles doing it. Jealous, I quickly crushed them with my boot while screaming, "IF I CAN'T DO IT, NOBODY WILL!"