@dj_soltrix Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon If I was homeless, I'd play it smart. My sign would say "Will have sex with any woman for food." That way, both of my needs are satisfied.
←Rate | 12-25-2011 14:30 by @dj_soltrix Comments (0)  


   messageicon MEAN PRANK: Replace Cocoa Puffs cereal with dry dog food.
←Rate | 11-14-2011 12:38 by @dj_soltrix Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend is a retard, but she has nice boobs...so it evens out.
←Rate | 09-30-2011 11:45 by @dj_soltrix Comments (0)  


   messageicon I shot my girlfriend with a cupid's arrow thinking that she would fall more in love with me, but now she's just laying there on the ground ignoring me.
←Rate | 02-14-2013 11:49 by @dj_soltrix Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does anyone know the name of that one song that doesn't have Pitbull in it?
←Rate | 11-12-2011 13:56 by @dj_soltrix Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's a styling salon down my street called "Blow Bar," and needless to say, I walked in excited thinking it was something else.
←Rate | 11-16-2011 10:55 by @dj_soltrix Comments (0)  


   messageicon The look on people's faces while waiting at a bus stop is the same look children make when they can't have any candy.
←Rate | 12-18-2011 13:19 by @dj_soltrix Comments (0)  


   messageicon To everyone on Facebook that plays Farmville or Cityville and sends me requests every hour of the day: Go hang yourselves.
←Rate | 07-15-2011 10:30 by @dj_soltrix Comments (0)  


   messageicon They should serve watermelons at every place in the world that has chicken on their menu.
←Rate | 07-16-2011 16:44 by @dj_soltrix Comments (0)  


   messageicon Instead of Hooters, they should call it "Flat-Chesters."
←Rate | 10-30-2011 17:42 by @dj_soltrix Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know you've entered a ghetto neighborhood when you see a pair of shoes hanging from a telephone wire.
←Rate | 07-17-2011 11:47 by @dj_soltrix Comments (0)  


   messageicon We should sentence Casey Anthony to 4 years of watching Tyler Perry movies.
←Rate | 07-07-2011 10:23 by @dj_soltrix Comments (0)  


   messageicon If women were born with remote controls, the most commonly used buttons would be: PAUSE, MUTE, FAST-FORWARD, and SLEEP.
←Rate | 09-22-2011 02:19 by @dj_soltrix Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's more unattractive to me than a woman who smokes? One who destroys her body with countless tattoos and piercings. Seriously, just stop. It's not sexy.
←Rate | 08-06-2011 02:43 by @dj_soltrix Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never trust a woman who takes pictures from the neck up.
←Rate | 12-16-2011 14:26 by @dj_soltrix Comments (0)  


   messageicon Would you rather date a woman with a beautiful body covered in tattoos, or a nicely decorated trash bag?
←Rate | 12-28-2011 12:52 by @dj_soltrix Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey ladies, you know who finds your period attractive? Sharks.
←Rate | 10-29-2011 13:46 by @dj_soltrix Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey ladies that still wear one-piece bathing suits: Nope.
←Rate | 12-12-2011 13:50 by @dj_soltrix Comments (0)  


   messageicon It really sucks being without a cell phone because now I have to give everyone 100% of my full attention.
←Rate | 01-10-2012 17:34 by @dj_soltrix Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marc Anthony: "Let it rain over me!" R. Kelly: "Are you sure?"
←Rate | 08-27-2011 12:54 by @dj_soltrix Comments (0)  




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