huck Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Don't forget to turn your clocks back today if you want them to be set to the wrong time.
←Rate | 10-11-2012 18:29 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon You would think that by now there would be rap battle re enactors.
←Rate | 10-09-2012 17:36 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say "confidence" is the most attractive quality in a partner. But I'd have to say, "not banging my friends" would be a very close 2nd
←Rate | 10-07-2012 08:56 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Holding a baby is a great excuse to just openly pass gas without anyone knowing.
←Rate | 10-06-2012 08:08 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon What would we do if the T-rex came back? Sadly, scientists believe weapons would be useless. However, we could humiliate them by forcing them to wear tiaras which their tiny arms could never remove.
←Rate | 10-05-2012 08:51 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon If at first you don't succeed, lie and say you did.
←Rate | 10-04-2012 06:17 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Of course, now your life will be shorter than it was yesterday. Way to waste yesterday, MORON!
←Rate | 10-02-2012 06:11 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Human Brain is remarkable. It is the worlds most intelligent and advanced biological creation. The peak of human evolution. Then occasionally it forgets all that, like just now, when I went to scratch my eye and punched myself in the face instead.
←Rate | 09-29-2012 08:25 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not saying I'm tired but I did just try to unlock a door with my wallet.
←Rate | 09-28-2012 13:35 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Somewhere out there is a legitimate Nigerian Prince crying into a huge pile of cash.
←Rate | 09-27-2012 10:48 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only math I'm good at is adding insult to injury.
←Rate | 09-27-2012 10:41 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men who don't understand why their woman is mad at them need to realize the woman doesn't know why either.
←Rate | 09-24-2012 06:29 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon No, but I do kiss YOUR mother with this mouth.
←Rate | 09-23-2012 08:55 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just checking in to make sure that there is ample drama in my timeline. Yup, looks good to me.
←Rate | 09-23-2012 08:53 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't even imagine the self control required to work at a bubble wrap factory.
←Rate | 09-22-2012 08:26 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Old lady in the blue track suit in front if me smells like garlic and moth balls. I would complain but I think she's a Crip!.
←Rate | 09-21-2012 23:02 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon According to my horoscope, I'm going to get rich today. According to my Youtube comments, I'm a "douche." Life is confusing.
←Rate | 09-21-2012 00:08 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every time I hear someone say Right About Now, I end it with Funk Soul Brother.
←Rate | 09-19-2012 09:11 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon The majority of my childhood was spent naming one of my settlers in Oregon Trail after an enemy then doing all I could to help them die of dysentery
←Rate | 09-16-2012 09:09 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Those Cialis dudes get turned on when they see really bad acting
←Rate | 09-14-2012 06:33 by Huck Comments (0)  


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