Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon If she doesn't arch her back for you during sex, she is just no that into you bro.
←Rate | 04-01-2014 00:44 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies; you’re all crazy and men are idiots. You just need to find the idiot that matches your crazy.
←Rate | 03-30-2014 11:06 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sarcasm is a dominant gene in my family.
←Rate | 03-30-2014 10:42 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I see you stopped taking your meds. Can I please have them?
←Rate | 03-25-2014 15:36 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love the smell of a liquor store in the morning!
←Rate | 03-19-2014 02:15 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Clearly if you have to blame yourself, you're not hanging out with enough people.
←Rate | 03-18-2014 01:41 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If money talks, someone please come translate my bank statements.
←Rate | 03-17-2014 13:08 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Single women wearing matching bra and panties; I am sure the inside of your clothes really appreciate it.
←Rate | 03-15-2014 11:04 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon We men love two women; the one is the creation of our imagination and the other is not yet born.
←Rate | 03-14-2014 13:53 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I know its true love when I like you even when I'm sober.
←Rate | 03-13-2014 14:26 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently, I tip hotel maids by forgetting my iPhone charger every time I check out. Every. Single. Time.
←Rate | 03-12-2014 14:34 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wish there were more love songs about naps and liqour.
←Rate | 03-06-2014 13:21 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  


   messageicon If you're looking for me to be more tasteful and tender, marinate me in whiskey.
←Rate | 03-06-2014 12:28 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder who vodka helped me insult last night.
←Rate | 03-06-2014 11:26 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm clingy, but not " Simon Cowell's t-shirt" clingy.
←Rate | 03-05-2014 14:08 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Do you live with your parents too?" - Not the best pickup line.
←Rate | 03-05-2014 13:14 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yes, those diamonds in your teeth are shiny, but your vocabulary is still limited and now you have a speech impediment.
←Rate | 03-05-2014 12:49 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When it comes to a recipe for a disaster, some people thrive on being the main ingredient.
←Rate | 03-02-2014 09:50 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A woman's cleavage tells you the amount and type of attention she needs.
←Rate | 02-27-2014 08:15 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Madonna and Johnny Depp seem completely unaware they aren't British
←Rate | 02-27-2014 07:47 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  




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