Funny Status Messages for Facebook

X is Porn paints a extremely unrealistic picture of how quickly you can get a plumber over to your house.

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-10-2013 11:33 Comments (0)

X I Say: A Joke is like s*x. Not good if you don't get it

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-10-2013 10:21 by @zubindalal1 Comments (0)

X is Im not saying you are a $lut but you were fired from the $perm bank for drinking on the job.......

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-10-2013 09:59 by SEAN Comments (0)

X is A fun thing to do to a friend that was drinking and driving is to put a sneaker on the windshield wiper the next morning.

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-10-2013 09:27 by SEAN Comments (0)

X is The average human uses less than 10 percent of the remote.

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-10-2013 09:25 by SEAN Comments (0)

X is the wife asked what the white stuff on my peni$, told her it was asprin for her headache and asked if she wanted it orally or suppository..

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-10-2013 09:23 by SEAN Comments (0)

X says Seeing my ex with a new guy doesnt upset me.. My mother taught me at a young age to give me used toys to the less fortunate.

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-10-2013 07:46 by nh Comments (0)

X says I just burned 1200 calories! I forgot about the batch of cinnamon rolls in the oven!

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-10-2013 07:34 Comments (0)

X says No offense DiGiorno, but if someone cooks a frozen pizza at home and confuses it with a person delivering a pizza, they might be insane.

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-10-2013 06:27 by andrew jackson Comments (0)

X says I'd save a lot more money on car insurance if they quit spending billions on advertising.

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-10-2013 06:18 by Huck Comments (0)

X says Axe came out with 2 new body sprays. I'm having a hard time deciding between "My mom is picking me up at 8:30" and "Can I touch your bra"

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-10-2013 02:46 Comments (0)

X says There's a difference between antisocial and antistupid.

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-10-2013 02:45 Comments (0)

X says I heard Cobras dance to music so I played some Justin Bieber for my pet Cobra and he bit himself and died.

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-10-2013 02:45 Comments (0)

X says First rule of cuddle club: It better lead to sex or you're out of the cuddle club

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-10-2013 02:42 Comments (0)

X A frat house installs a retractible ceiling. “We just can't get enough Natural Light,” says its president. They hi-five for 6 straight hours

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-10-2013 02:31 by HiYourJon Comments (0)

X says That triangle that the wiper never touches on your windscreen is a lesson that no matter how much you change, you were still a whore.

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-10-2013 01:56 Comments (0)

X says Ever sat in the bus next to a stranger who smells so nice you just couldn't stop licking her neck?

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-10-2013 01:55 Comments (0)

X says Adobe Reader should just watch the news like the rest of us for regular updates.

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-10-2013 01:55 Comments (0)

X says Girl, you must be a terrorist cause you're making my package suspicious.

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-10-2013 01:52 Comments (0)

X says I love my wife so much that I use c ondom with other girls.

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-10-2013 01:50 Comments (0)