huck Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Banning us to the couch is not as bad as you believe it is ladies. It makes us feel manly. Like we're camping. With an angry bear close by.
←Rate | 02-02-2015 05:45 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who have permission to call me honey, sugar or sweetie: 1. Truck stop waitresses 2. That’s it
←Rate | 02-08-2015 06:13 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I spend whole meetings wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door.
←Rate | 02-11-2015 05:34 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon A fun part of your 40s is waking up thinking you're hungover, and then remembering, nope, this is just how my body feels now.
←Rate | 03-02-2015 06:06 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon The actor Peter Cullen voiced both Eeyore AND Optimus Prime. That trivia will be in your brain forever. You're welcome.
←Rate | 03-02-2015 06:14 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.
←Rate | 03-12-2015 05:37 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to finish other people’s sentences because my version is better.
←Rate | 03-12-2015 05:40 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every day I live in fear or becoming an infomercial person. Yesterday I fumbled a jar of cinnamon and cried for three hours.
←Rate | 03-19-2015 13:53 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion is like what the heck am I doing here i'm a savannah animal
←Rate | 03-19-2015 13:58 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just found out Bob Ross was once a military sergeant and now I'm picturing him yelling LOOK AT ALL THOSE HAPPY LITTLE TREES, MAGGOT
←Rate | 03-24-2015 05:44 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's funny how "You're so funny" turns into "You think everything's a joke" in just 3 months...
←Rate | 03-30-2015 04:49 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so old I remember when people didn't publicly express every feeling they had every moment they had it.
←Rate | 03-30-2015 05:47 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cupcakes are amazing, because holding a full size cake up to your face isn't socially acceptable for some reason.
←Rate | 04-02-2015 05:30 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tried meditating once but ended up taking a really great nap
←Rate | 04-02-2015 05:31 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kids today don’t know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.
←Rate | 04-02-2015 05:45 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wild horses could drag me away from anything. They're wild horses. The more important question is: who tied me to these wild horses?
←Rate | 04-08-2015 05:55 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon That prince in Sleeping Beauty doesn't get enough credit for kissing someone who hadn't brushed her teeth in forever.
←Rate | 04-11-2015 22:20 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon My exercise tape is just various clips of me driving past the gym.
←Rate | 04-13-2015 13:00 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's weird to think that these Forever Stamps will outlive me.
←Rate | 04-26-2015 08:06 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't want to say I'm out of shape, but I can't even jog my memory without breaking a sweat.
←Rate | 04-29-2015 12:12 by huck Comments (0)  




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