huck Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I’m not going to judge you if you don't like football because of whatever moronic reason you think you have in your clueless head.
←Rate | 01-26-2015 07:51 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Banning us to the couch is not as bad as you believe it is ladies. It makes us feel manly. Like we're camping. With an angry bear close by.
←Rate | 02-02-2015 05:45 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who have permission to call me honey, sugar or sweetie: 1. Truck stop waitresses 2. That’s it
←Rate | 02-08-2015 06:13 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I spend whole meetings wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door.
←Rate | 02-11-2015 05:34 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon A fun part of your 40s is waking up thinking you're hungover, and then remembering, nope, this is just how my body feels now.
←Rate | 03-02-2015 06:06 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon The actor Peter Cullen voiced both Eeyore AND Optimus Prime. That trivia will be in your brain forever. You're welcome.
←Rate | 03-02-2015 06:14 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.
←Rate | 03-12-2015 05:37 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to finish other people’s sentences because my version is better.
←Rate | 03-12-2015 05:40 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every day I live in fear or becoming an infomercial person. Yesterday I fumbled a jar of cinnamon and cried for three hours.
←Rate | 03-19-2015 13:53 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion is like what the heck am I doing here i'm a savannah animal
←Rate | 03-19-2015 13:58 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just found out Bob Ross was once a military sergeant and now I'm picturing him yelling LOOK AT ALL THOSE HAPPY LITTLE TREES, MAGGOT
←Rate | 03-24-2015 05:44 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's funny how "You're so funny" turns into "You think everything's a joke" in just 3 months...
←Rate | 03-30-2015 04:49 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so old I remember when people didn't publicly express every feeling they had every moment they had it.
←Rate | 03-30-2015 05:47 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cupcakes are amazing, because holding a full size cake up to your face isn't socially acceptable for some reason.
←Rate | 04-02-2015 05:30 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tried meditating once but ended up taking a really great nap
←Rate | 04-02-2015 05:31 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kids today don’t know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.
←Rate | 04-02-2015 05:45 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wild horses could drag me away from anything. They're wild horses. The more important question is: who tied me to these wild horses?
←Rate | 04-08-2015 05:55 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon That prince in Sleeping Beauty doesn't get enough credit for kissing someone who hadn't brushed her teeth in forever.
←Rate | 04-11-2015 22:20 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon My exercise tape is just various clips of me driving past the gym.
←Rate | 04-13-2015 13:00 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's weird to think that these Forever Stamps will outlive me.
←Rate | 04-26-2015 08:06 by huck Comments (0)  




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