Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon It's cool how Bruce Lee studied philosophy & poetry then applied it to something beautiful like punching people in the face.
←Rate | 04-23-2014 01:05 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lies I'll never stop telling my boss: No you're not bothering me Yes I'll meet the deadline Facebook? Never heard of it!
←Rate | 04-23-2014 00:46 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's cardio, and can I eat it?
←Rate | 04-22-2014 14:12 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why Do Women Wear Floral panties? In Loving Memory Of All The Faces That Have Been Buried Down There.
←Rate | 04-22-2014 12:26 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you say Snoop Dogg's name three times in the mirror, your weed will disappear.
←Rate | 04-20-2014 11:30 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You don't have to believe in a book to be a nice person and treat people right.
←Rate | 04-20-2014 10:58 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Find someone you're good at.
←Rate | 04-18-2014 14:33 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if bank robbers have a safe word?
←Rate | 04-18-2014 05:56 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Twerking is the crocs of dancing.
←Rate | 04-18-2014 05:50 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If no one is there to touch you, are you really there?
←Rate | 04-17-2014 08:55 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Judging from my last 5 relationships I am convinced my heart is trying to kill me
←Rate | 04-17-2014 05:31 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Coffee will never tell me I had too much to drink last night, unlike some people in this house
←Rate | 04-16-2014 00:53 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon “I can't wait to drunk text this girl who doesn't give a sh*t about me.” - ALCOHOL
←Rate | 04-16-2014 00:53 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "She's cute I swear, let me find a better picture." – Me telling my friends about my new girlfriend.
←Rate | 04-14-2014 13:31 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't fall in love, learn how to ruin your life all by yourself.
←Rate | 04-13-2014 14:28 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being a gentleman in these times is a thankless job. I tried to compliment a seemingly nice young lady and ended up having to explain that I'm not, thirsty, creepy or a stalker.
←Rate | 04-12-2014 03:36 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I use words I don't understand so I can sound more photosynthesis.
←Rate | 04-11-2014 14:41 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Which nipple does the red jumper cable go on? Asking for a freak.
←Rate | 04-08-2014 00:50 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do fools fall in love? Because smart people know that, odds are, it will end horribly.
←Rate | 04-07-2014 00:14 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your boss says we have to be more flexible in this department be afraid. Be very afraid.
←Rate | 04-01-2014 00:51 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  




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