father OR dad Funny Status Messages
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A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.
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05-31-2010 20:11 by Tracy
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By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong.
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05-29-2010 21:31
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the little boy walks in on his parents having sex. The little boy says, Daddy, what are you doing? The father replies, Making a baby. The little boy says, Well, do her doggie style! I'd rather have a puppy instead!
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05-28-2010 00:44 by Pacumbo
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In these times, when a celebrity cheats on his wife with multiple women, he gets criticized and exploited everywhere. Back in the founding father days, a man cheats and his face ends up on the 1, 5, 10, 20, 50, and 100 dollar bill.
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05-04-2010 13:12 by Danmanz
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saw the HILLYBILLY that won the lottery bought a new car - and transfered his bumper sticker "PROUD FATHER of my NEPHEW"
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04-24-2010 09:07 by JDAUB
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some old man is claiming Oprah is his daughter.... I think she should atleast interview him on her show. Not because he's her alleged father but because he's a black man admitting he's the baby daddy!
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04-21-2010 01:07
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a man with flaws, a failure at success, no superhero, neither rich nor poor. I am, however a good father and a happy person. that'll do pig. that'll do.
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04-10-2010 18:38
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Breakfast was going well until that creepy new Tiger Woods commercial with his late father's voice came on... now I'm just playing with my oatmeal.
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04-08-2010 17:21 by Shamus
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I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
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03-29-2010 08:26
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THE MOST CONFUSING DAY IN THE GHETTO IS FATHER'S DAY....
┌∩┐(◣..◢)┌∩┐ father time.....for running fast when I want you to run slow(fri sat sun) and running slow when I need you to run fast(mon-fri 7am-3 pm) I lost track of 10 hours today.
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03-14-2010 01:14 by Dj Sin
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My father told me "never hit a man while he's down, kick him! It's a whole lot easier!"
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03-04-2010 10:05
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My father was a dentist and my mother was a manicurist.They kept fighting tooth and nail.
flipping channels and saw a girl I hooked up with about a year ago on the Maury show talking about she had only been with two guys and she was 100% he was the father of her baby. It was hilarious! I stopped laughing when Maury said you are not the father.
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02-13-2010 15:40
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- I would quit drinking, but my father didn't raiser a quiter.
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01-31-2010 12:11
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wonders that if Christmas, Father's Day and birthdays did not exist, then aftershave too, would not exist.
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12-10-2009 01:58
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If your father is a poor man, it is your fate, but if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity. :)
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12-06-2009 21:16
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..thought it was a good thing adding her parents to Facebook until I posted " is going out for the night!" & mum commented "Good! That means me and your father can have loud sex now!". I'll remember to lock my bedroom door before I go out..
youre so ugly just after you were was born, your mother said, "What a treasure!" and your father said, "Yea, let's go bury it!"
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11-04-2009 01:46 by 8)
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hopes nobody else dresses up as Justus von Liebig, Father of biochemistry who recorded minerals in plant ash and proposed the law of minimum.
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10-30-2009 09:49
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