Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   got the power

   surrounded by incompetence.

   wondering why people think they are invisible when they pick their noses in the car?

   pities the fool

   M.I.A

   have sex not children

   an escaped mental patient with a history of violence

   not your daddy

   calculating the cost of a train ride to Hawaii

   ʇı puɐ ʇı dılɟ uɐɔ

   the reason for reason

   statusless.

   frickin awesome! 'Nough Said.

   a blueberry muffin in a basket of bagels.

   throwing away happy tissues

   listed as in a relationship with his blackberry device...

   having delusions of adequacy

   doing what her rice crispies tell her to....

   so vein he probably thinks this status is about him

   can see Alaska from hisher house