snotty Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I should have known my son was stealing from his road construction job, but every time I came home I guess I just ignored all the signs.
←Rate | 12-10-2016 15:34 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can either be right, or you can be the husband.
←Rate | 12-10-2016 16:22 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Balloons are so much more expensive than when I was a kid... Probably due to,,,,, you know,, inflation.
←Rate | 12-11-2016 19:24 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would watch “The Bachelor” if the next bachelor was Chumlee.
←Rate | 12-11-2016 19:31 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well OBVIOUSLY,, Winter is a hoax perpetrated by the Chinese.
←Rate | 12-12-2016 20:44 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon BREAKING NEWS: Massive cold takes over US after Trump calls out Heat Miser on Twitter
←Rate | 12-12-2016 21:01 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon *at a fancy restaurant.. . Ummm,, yes, what color wines do you have
←Rate | 12-14-2016 15:53 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Listen,, If you're mad about Trump being named Time's Person of the Year, wait until you hear who was elected president.
←Rate | 12-14-2016 15:54 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well,,, We are Definitely not getting our security deposit back for this planet.
←Rate | 12-14-2016 16:02 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon All those against armpit tickling raised their hands..... *And what happened next is history.
←Rate | 12-14-2016 16:36 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I realized how pathetic I am,,, When the person in the next bathroom stall completely ignored my knock knock joke...
←Rate | 12-16-2016 21:52 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you want to know if Santa has you on his “nice” list,, or his “naughty” list,, Just ask Russia,,, and they'll just hack it for you.
←Rate | 12-16-2016 21:56 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Actually,, I thought I was the only one who did not know the words to Mariah Carey songs.
←Rate | 01-04-2017 13:19 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Samsung just announced a series of water resistant phones... Hmmm,, You may NOT want in a phone that sets itself on fire,, to be water resistant guys.
←Rate | 01-04-2017 13:23 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon [date night].. Waiter: How is everything?... Me: *whispers... Waiter: Sir?.... Wife: *sigh,, He says his carrots are touching his peas.
←Rate | 01-10-2017 17:44 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sure,, Sure,, I could kill you with kindness,, but let’s see what else is just lying around I can use first.
←Rate | 01-13-2017 15:40 by snotty Comments (2)  


   messageicon Hell hath no fury like a woman who didn't get an answer to the question you didn't hear her ask from upstairs
←Rate | 01-22-2017 17:55 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whoever came up with the slogan Diamonds are Forever, obviously never had herpes.
←Rate | 02-11-2017 21:11 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon In light of recent news regarding 'A day without a woman' men everywhere a grateful just to have peace & quiet from a nagging mother-in-law
←Rate | 02-18-2017 22:28 by Snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon well,, of course Sea Salt is better than regular salt cuz,, you know, ,,,, fish poop
←Rate | 03-29-2017 02:02 by snotty Comments (0)  




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