Eddy Funny Status Messages

   im gonna try to improve my life .....↑↑↓↓← →← →B A START ....no it didnt work

   maybe i'll get laid by my wife....she said that will happen once in a blue moon

   when ur a kid you ask "why do I gotta pick up my toys?"...when ur an adult you get the answer

   today is hump day & leap day...this will be tricky

   I think Haley Joel Osment should guest star on The Walking Dead one episode..... "I see dead people"

   My ex is great with a pole.... I have the bruises to prove it

   the best way to get over a woman is to get under another one

   do siamese twins call their colons a "semicolon"?

   why doesnt a car dealer run for office? they lie & cheat the ppl to get our money already

   who was the idiot to make umbrellas have metal handles? ..."lets hold this over our heads to keep rain off us & keep us dry but lets put a metal handle on it so we hold metal when we have to keep rain off us during storms"

   rick Perry...texas has a Republicam Governor running for president that seems like an idiot...this sounds familiar lol

   happy 4/20 ......smoke it if you got it

   In honor of the super bowl, whenever I go to poop today, i'll refer to it as "taking the browns to the super bowl"

   I like to buy someone a birthday gift at CVS so then I can make a ribbon out of the receipt ‪#‎recycle‬

   i think Hawaiian Airlines should change slogan to "we do wheely well"

   if your neighbors call the police on you for playing loud music, just tell the cop "you can dance if you want to or you can leave your friend behind..."

   has a mind like a drill bit! It is twisted, and very dangerous if used improperly

   i kinda think the nintendo character mario was on drugs...he ate mushrooms & thought turtles were attacking & had to save the princess from the biggest baddest turtle of them all...this is why you dont do shrooms kids

   when science teachers were gonna talk about "natural disasters" I thought they were gonna talk about relationships

   I have a friend who can tap dance backwards. His name is Pat