Funny Status Messages Search

X "Vodka, Bourbon, Tequila!" - Me calling the shots.

<--Rate | Submitted: 08-18-2011 11:41 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Which sounds classier, "dong," or "schlong?" I'm writing a letter to my grandmother.

<--Rate | Submitted: 12-28-2011 08:57 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X I miss newspapers. It's weird hitting a dog on the nose with an iPad

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-01-2012 13:39 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Paperclip: The staple for people with commitment issues.

<--Rate | Submitted: 10-10-2011 10:02 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X I think these news stations are missing the boat with these marathon storm tracking sessions. They need to sell advertising! "This Tornado warning is brought to you by Glad Trash Bags. Glad...when you have to clean debris the next morning, don't get mad..

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-28-2011 17:24 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Turns out, if your boss is mad at you, playing a surprise game of "Got Your Nose" will NOT ease the tension.

<--Rate | Submitted: 08-30-2011 15:34 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X I hate gently tossing my phone on the bed and it ricocheting off three walls, hitting a lamp, and a cat.

<--Rate | Submitted: 08-03-2011 13:27 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Hey, everybody under 25 just shut up for like FIVE minutes.

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-24-2012 07:28 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X The N-B-A lockout continues. Which explains the 8-foot man cleaning my windshield this morning.

<--Rate | Submitted: 10-18-2011 09:55 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X People who say they don't have any problems are lying to you, but at least give them credit for not telling you about them.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-03-2012 10:44 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X A heads up to girls on Facebook .. if your status says "single" and your profile picture is you with your cat - Well then that is why

<--Rate | Submitted: 01-22-2012 12:54 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X What a tattoo on your face really means: "I've gone as far in society as I'd like to."

<--Rate | Submitted: 10-05-2011 11:28 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X When my life flashes before my eyes, I hope it's not the special extended edition with all the deleted scenes I've blocked from my memory.

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-26-2011 09:02 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X A journey of ten feet begins with a single “Where the #%!= is the remote?”

<--Rate | Submitted: 08-04-2011 12:26 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X When I say I will NEVER do something, rest assured I'll be doing it within 6 weeks.

<--Rate | Submitted: 09-01-2011 15:25 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Wait - so we're NOT supposed to eat the Silica Gel packet?

<--Rate | Submitted: 12-31-2011 08:41 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Grocery store flowers; show someone you care slightly more than not at all.

<--Rate | Submitted: 05-23-2012 10:14 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X A recent survey of one person revealed that 100% of me thinks that I should leave work early.

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-21-2011 08:55 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Trying to understand quantum physics. Cause trying to understand women is just too damn hard.

<--Rate | Submitted: 01-17-2012 11:41 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X It's not that we're anti-social, it's just that our phones got more interesting than human interaction.

<--Rate | Submitted: 10-21-2011 11:09 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)