Eddy Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon i think before a member of congress makes a speech they should be drunk ....that way they wont lie
←Rate | 11-20-2012 03:51 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon ever notice that on a phone the word "mom" is 666?
←Rate | 01-30-2011 19:05 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've thought of becoming vegetarian but I can never find any bacon seeds for the garden
←Rate | 03-21-2015 17:54 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon someone needs to make a cereal that's in the shape of little cows...when you add the milk, you're milking the cows
←Rate | 06-09-2019 08:38 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon will Hurricane Matthew be followed by hurricanes Mark, Luke & John?
←Rate | 10-06-2016 20:52 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon brains are like modems....some people can think fast like they are high speed internet....some ppl are slow thinkers like they are dial-up....other ppl have lost connection
←Rate | 02-16-2012 21:11 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon sometimes I think love is like bigfoot......other people claim they have seen it & experienced it but I don't think I ever will
←Rate | 11-20-2013 03:23 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon happy vALONEtine's day to the single people
←Rate | 02-14-2019 10:22 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon why do ppl say they are "under the weather"?....unless ur an astronaut, were all under the weather
←Rate | 02-24-2013 02:55 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon the way everything you do is connecting to facebook, I look for bank accounts to get connected one day & the bank teller will say "that check bounced but we see ur friends with this person who looks rich...ask them to borrow some"
←Rate | 08-27-2012 23:07 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon just call me "Mario" cause I've been looking & looking & cant seem to find a woman either #Nintendo
←Rate | 03-24-2014 16:07 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon now that Zuckerberg is married, if he divorces does she get the "face" half or the "book" half
←Rate | 05-20-2012 22:03 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon anyone else watching this verbal pay-per-view match? the folks on tv call it a "debate"
←Rate | 10-11-2012 21:06 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon when couples get married they should be required to each give up 1 sock & put them together to make a pair of socks....later on if they divorce they get their sock back. "Master has given me a sock. I am free"
←Rate | 12-30-2016 22:59 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon like a good neighbor state farm is there...with winning lotto numbers
←Rate | 09-18-2011 15:07 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why did Bella choose Edward instead of Jacob??? Cause Edward can still go down on her even if it's her time of the month
←Rate | 11-12-2011 23:59 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon my new years resolution is 1680 x 1050
←Rate | 12-31-2016 20:38 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon while fixing the big Thanksgiving dinner remember to cook with wine like all the fancy tv chefs say....you'll be too drunk to realize what the family is saying or doing
←Rate | 11-27-2013 20:06 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon playing Mario & entering the castle.... of course I got a girl on Friday night....forever alone
←Rate | 03-07-2014 21:39 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon i found a sexy person who I love very much.... it's a shame i'm not allowed to marry myself
←Rate | 01-29-2013 20:13 by Eddy Comments (0)  




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