father OR dad Funny Status Messages

   "Luke, I am your father." - Darth Vader, after Luke won the lottery.

   "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been..." "Ma'am, please just vote and exit the booth!

   My father is at that age where he will have a full on conversation with a telemarketer.

   I was chillin' with my buddy and his wife walked in and said, "Happy Father's Day! You're so much more than the guy who used to buy dollar store condoms."

   People joke about Bieber Fever. Don't. Sigourney Weaver Fever killed my father.

   Happy Ugly Father's day tie, day!

   If you're for gay marriage then you are also for hurting children. Kids need a mother and a father:not two dads or two moms. There is no arguing this fact.

   My father was a professional wrestler. He hit us but did not hit us!!

   "Luke, I am your Father...and your Uncle"- Redneck Darth Vader

   My family's in the Iron and Steel buisness. My mother irons and my father steals.

   ..... WOW ..... I just found my pet rock my father gave me back in the 70's ...... Amazingly enough it was STILL ALIVE!!!

   My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!

   As a kid my father used to hit me with his camera. I still get flashbacks

   Happy Father's Day, Caitlyn Jenner!!!!

   Confusion: Father's day in the ghetto

   (With French accent) Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

   When this Ho on Maury found out that the 36th dude tested wasn't the Father, she ran so far backstage, I flipped the Channel and she was running across the set of ESPN!

   Mick Jagger a Father again? Really? Has he ever been a father before? I think s p e r m donor would be more appropriate

   I just want to play cards with a priest so I can say... Forgive me father for I have ginned

   It's Father's Day not FARTHERS DAY Ladies