Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon God said: "I cannot be everywhere, So I created MOTHER!" The Devil Replied: "Even I can't be everywhere, So I created MOTHER-IN-LAW!!!"
←Rate | 08-26-2010 19:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend went home to visit her mother today. Or as I refer to it. Her "b!tch refresher course".
←Rate | 07-12-2012 14:00 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon For the record, if my mother ever tells you she uses Oxycontin to remove stains, it's not true.
←Rate | 03-27-2011 20:46 by Shawnee Comments (0)  


   messageicon A furniture for my mother in law's birthday??? Thank you honey... I think coffin just sounds right...
←Rate | 04-04-2012 18:11 by XX-FOXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Like all moms, there are days when Mother Nature just wants to feel sexy. Somehow, this leads to hurricanes.
←Rate | 09-08-2010 09:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook - one more way my mother can make sure I haven't died in the past 24 hours...
←Rate | 01-23-2011 20:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Define birthday :-the only day in your life.....when your mother smiled when you cried.
←Rate | 11-24-2011 08:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon i bought my mother in law a tv and furniture for her birthday...you shouldve seen her face when rent a center came and picked it up...yup she hates me
←Rate | 04-04-2012 07:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wanted, Teenager owners manuel for models 1993 thru 1996. Must be kid tested and mother approved.
←Rate | 10-23-2010 12:37 by corey c Comments (2)  


   messageicon The reason folks who don't work @ Walmart know the deficit was 11 trillion in 2007 is because they graduated from high school and their sister in-wife isn't also their mother.
←Rate | 07-21-2012 11:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Turning on Parental Control...restricting my wireless network so my mother cannot go on Facebook at certain times.
←Rate | 01-09-2011 19:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon THE ALIENS ARE ATTACKING EARTH ON FRIDAY. THEIR PLAN IS TO KIDNAP ALL THE BEAUTIFUL & SEXY PEOPLE.. DONT WORRY, YOU'RE SAFE... I JUST WANTED TO SAY GOODBYE, PLEASE CHECK IN ON MY MOTHER IN LAW EVERY NOW AND THEN
←Rate | 11-11-2009 22:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So a man walks into a bar with a monkey.. I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother's a whòrë.
←Rate | 11-30-2012 18:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a mute kid swears,does his mother wash his hands out with soap?
←Rate | 12-12-2009 13:59 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant.
←Rate | 01-27-2011 18:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon named my daughter after my mother in law. In fact Psychopathic Maniac turns 3 tomorrow
←Rate | 05-23-2012 16:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A couple kisses and gropes in public and nobody bats an eye but let a mother breastfeed in public and all hell breaks loose. How did we get to this as a society?
←Rate | 10-02-2016 06:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mother.
←Rate | 04-16-2016 04:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mother told me that when I was born I was so surprised that I didn't talk for a year an a half.
←Rate | 05-18-2011 23:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon African mother to her child: "You better be happy you're that skinny, there's fat kids in America that wish they were as skinny as you!"
←Rate | 03-09-2011 02:57 by @DonSixx Comments (0)  




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