nfl OR football OR superbowl Funny Status Messages

   When did it become acceptable to slap another man's ass during football?? And why, oh why, is there no evidence of his reaction??

   Patriots by 7. This is my pick for the Superbowl. And for any future U.S. revolutionary wars.

   A lot can happen in 2mins during football.. Like 47 useless commericals..For instance..

   cant have an openly religious football player in the NFL, that would be bad. it needs more accused murderers, rapists and morons who shoot themselves in the leg.

   I'm not sure what the worst penalty in football is but Madonna performing at the halftime of the Super Bowl has got to be it.

   a busy day of laying on the couch while snacking and watching football ahead.

   I don't know who makes more idle threats: Iran threatening the U.S. Navy in the Persian Gulf or Rex Ryan of the Jets threatening to win a Superbowl every year?

   Why do women even try to talk about football? Do you see guys in the kitchen discussing dishwashing strategies?

   Just got back from my high school Football coach's funeral. I leaned over the casket and whispered "YOU walk it off".

   I'd imagine that hitting the showers had a whole new meaning for the Penn State football team.

   Spike the football, hang on the goal post, hump the wind, do the funky chicken, get in ur opponents face & gloat but for God's sake don't pray on a football field, that;s inappropriate. I say do ur thang Tebow. Maybe the Colts need to do a little Tebowing

   Madonna picked to sing at superbowl halftime, cause if its one thing guys like is an old woman singing lame songs they hated the first time they heard them 30 years ago

   watching football its like watching monkeys chasing a banana

   If you're a female, I can understand if you don't watch football, if you're a man, you have an obligation to your why chromosome.

   Barney Frank is retiring from Congress to coach football at Penn State....

   Native American ghosts spend Thanksgiving Day at backyard football games, tearing 40 y.o. white dudes achilles tendons.

   ready for a football, family, food, and farts...Happy Thanksgiving!

   Maybe because she is watching more football, but I am starting to like it when she stops, calls for a measurement then goes for it.....

   No NBA this year?! Great! I don't like watching overpaid athletes in baggy shorts run up and down a basketball court anyway. I'd rather watch overpaid athletes in tight pants run up and down a football field or around a diamond.

   I have a very busy Sunday planned today......Watching football and Nascar while converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. ツ