Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Life sucks, But sometimes you get to have sex, And sometimes you get to drink beer.
←Rate | 05-11-2014 07:42 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Game of Thrones, at its core, has always been a show about how much it sucks to be a horse
←Rate | 08-07-2017 12:26 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Judging by these FB & T witter quotes attributed to her, Marilyn Monroe sure got smart four decades after she died.
←Rate | 02-16-2015 11:29 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My name is Brian but my friends call me when they need a favour.
←Rate | 09-15-2013 11:27 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The whole idea of a drug free workplace is funny, isn't it? I mean the workplace is why I need drugs in the first place.
←Rate | 12-13-2013 00:45 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If it requires pants, its not happening today.
←Rate | 11-14-2014 23:51 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If by exercise you mean grabbing my phone out of my pocket every two minutes then yes I exercise a lot.
←Rate | 05-09-2014 13:04 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Could you guys just scroll a little? I was really funny yesterday.
←Rate | 10-03-2014 00:52 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you love someone, make them guess how you feel about them until they get tired and move on to someone else.
←Rate | 10-08-2013 02:19 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The more complicated the coffee order the more complicated the person.
←Rate | 01-08-2014 13:55 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fellas; If your fiancé designs her own engagement ring, prepare for a life of sex on your birthday and holidays only.
←Rate | 08-10-2013 11:51 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Live in the moment. Unless the moment sucks. Then live on Facebook.
←Rate | 01-03-2014 13:35 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In Hell, all of your Google searches post directly to your social media accounts.
←Rate | 11-27-2013 06:44 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Let me put you in a better mood" - vodka
←Rate | 08-25-2013 12:21 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The scariest thing about dating is that you either break-up or get married.
←Rate | 12-06-2013 04:30 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook keeps offering to find my friends for me. Good luck, Facebook! See if you can find my dad while you're at it.
←Rate | 06-25-2013 13:02 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not a stalker, I'm just a self-appointed and unpaid private investigator.
←Rate | 12-04-2014 05:14 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder who vodka helped me insult last night.
←Rate | 03-06-2014 11:26 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your boss says we have to be more flexible in this department be afraid. Be very afraid.
←Rate | 04-01-2014 00:51 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lies I'll never stop telling my boss: No you're not bothering me Yes I'll meet the deadline Facebook? Never heard of it!
←Rate | 04-23-2014 00:46 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  



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