Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I listen to gangsta rap sprinkled with a little Adele. Will I murder you? Will I buy you a puppy? You never know.
←Rate | 11-29-2015 23:53 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you decide to walk a mile in my shoes, it will likely just be a mile of circles looking for the remote.
←Rate | 10-07-2013 12:22 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What if NASCAR is really just rednecks saying "nice car"
←Rate | 02-11-2015 16:24 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women who claim their favorite TV show is Keeping Up With The Kardashians, are just confessing they'll give blow jobs for a shopping spree.
←Rate | 06-21-2014 12:20 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kim Kardashian is back in the studio, working on an album? She's turning her sex tape into a musical?
←Rate | 06-22-2014 06:06 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm just looking for a reason not to drink
←Rate | 10-30-2014 15:22 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm bored but not "correct people's grammar on Facebook" bored.
←Rate | 11-22-2013 12:35 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Which nipple does the red jumper cable go on? Asking for a freak.
←Rate | 04-08-2014 00:50 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you say Snoop Dogg's name three times in the mirror, your weed will disappear.
←Rate | 04-20-2014 11:30 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon At this rate, it's starting to seem like Americans will be voting on which candidate to keep out of jail in November.
←Rate | 10-09-2016 01:55 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just threw a piece of food on the floor of my cubicle. Totally forgot my dog doesn't work here.
←Rate | 07-13-2016 13:42 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women have designer purses because they need something stylish to carry their crazy in.
←Rate | 11-22-2013 13:50 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have as much sex as possible while you're still single. You can abstain when you get married.
←Rate | 12-10-2015 10:43 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone called me lazy today I almost objected.
←Rate | 12-19-2014 00:03 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The problem with alcohol is that that... it wears off.
←Rate | 12-09-2013 06:55 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I give great marriage advice if you want to be divorced.
←Rate | 01-08-2014 07:43 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am bored .Think I will go to the mall, find a great parking spot and sit in my car with my reverse lights on .
←Rate | 12-01-2014 01:50 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Samsung won't stop until they create a TV so curved it watches itself.
←Rate | 09-05-2014 09:15 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's cardio, and can I eat it?
←Rate | 04-22-2014 14:12 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How to spot single girls: If you hit on her and a man beats you, she has a boyfriend. If you hit her and she pepper sprays you, she's single.
←Rate | 09-08-2013 08:14 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  




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