Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Never cut off the minivans, they have nothing to live for.
←Rate | 11-22-2013 06:59 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so hungry I could eat a whole bottle of whiskey
←Rate | 11-24-2013 08:29 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I really dont understand why I’m still a virgin when I have never watched any Twilight Movie or bought any Justin Bieber Album in my whole life.
←Rate | 05-29-2013 15:09 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Insomnia is your body's way of asking for an orgasm.
←Rate | 10-15-2013 12:29 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You women are beautiful creatures I love you all , but by god you scare the sh*t out of me with the way you feed on souls and happiness.
←Rate | 05-27-2013 13:55 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon All of my best ideas involve jail time.
←Rate | 06-07-2013 02:35 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life sucks, But sometimes you get to have sex, And sometimes you get to drink beer.
←Rate | 05-11-2014 07:42 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Maybe if you tried educating yourself as much as you try getting those abs people will like you more.
←Rate | 05-24-2013 12:52 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pants are for people with something to hide.
←Rate | 06-02-2013 13:07 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The problem with the general public is that it's made up of people.
←Rate | 06-06-2013 12:29 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Game of Thrones, at its core, has always been a show about how much it sucks to be a horse
←Rate | 08-07-2017 12:26 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Judging by these FB & T witter quotes attributed to her, Marilyn Monroe sure got smart four decades after she died.
←Rate | 02-16-2015 11:29 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If it requires pants, its not happening today.
←Rate | 11-14-2014 23:51 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My name is Brian but my friends call me when they need a favour.
←Rate | 09-15-2013 11:27 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The whole idea of a drug free workplace is funny, isn't it? I mean the workplace is why I need drugs in the first place.
←Rate | 12-13-2013 00:45 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If by exercise you mean grabbing my phone out of my pocket every two minutes then yes I exercise a lot.
←Rate | 05-09-2014 13:04 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Could you guys just scroll a little? I was really funny yesterday.
←Rate | 10-03-2014 00:52 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you love someone, make them guess how you feel about them until they get tired and move on to someone else.
←Rate | 10-08-2013 02:19 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The more complicated the coffee order the more complicated the person.
←Rate | 01-08-2014 13:55 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fellas; If your fiancé designs her own engagement ring, prepare for a life of sex on your birthday and holidays only.
←Rate | 08-10-2013 11:51 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


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