Eddy Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Why did Bella choose Edward instead of Jacob??? Cause Edward can still go down on her even if it's her time of the month
←Rate | 11-12-2011 23:59 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon i found a sexy person who I love very much.... it's a shame i'm not allowed to marry myself
←Rate | 01-29-2013 20:13 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon according to the proctologist's hand gestures, my asshole is number 1
←Rate | 06-16-2012 03:38 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon playing Mario & entering the castle.... of course I got a girl on Friday night....forever alone
←Rate | 03-07-2014 21:39 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon while fixing the big Thanksgiving dinner remember to cook with wine like all the fancy tv chefs say....you'll be too drunk to realize what the family is saying or doing
←Rate | 11-27-2013 20:06 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon my new years resolution is 1680 x 1050
←Rate | 12-31-2016 20:38 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon im gonna try to improve my life .....↑↑↓↓← →← →B A START ....no it didnt work
←Rate | 02-10-2013 23:59 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon maybe i'll get laid by my wife....she said that will happen once in a blue moon
←Rate | 08-31-2012 10:53 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon when ur a kid you ask "why do I gotta pick up my toys?"...when ur an adult you get the answer
←Rate | 10-26-2011 20:41 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think Haley Joel Osment should guest star on The Walking Dead one episode..... "I see dead people"
←Rate | 03-21-2014 23:16 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon My ex is great with a pole.... I have the bruises to prove it
←Rate | 03-28-2015 00:40 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon do siamese twins call their colons a "semicolon"?
←Rate | 04-16-2013 22:56 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon why doesnt a car dealer run for office? they lie & cheat the ppl to get our money already
←Rate | 02-20-2012 20:30 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon who was the idiot to make umbrellas have metal handles? ..."lets hold this over our heads to keep rain off us & keep us dry but lets put a metal handle on it so we hold metal when we have to keep rain off us during storms"
←Rate | 02-22-2012 20:40 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon rick Perry...texas has a Republicam Governor running for president that seems like an idiot...this sounds familiar lol
←Rate | 11-11-2011 01:09 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon happy 4/20 ......smoke it if you got it
←Rate | 04-20-2015 02:05 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon In honor of the super bowl, whenever I go to poop today, i'll refer to it as "taking the browns to the super bowl"
←Rate | 02-04-2018 13:44 by Eddy Comments (1)  


   messageicon i think Hawaiian Airlines should change slogan to "we do wheely well"
←Rate | 04-28-2014 00:54 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to buy someone a birthday gift at CVS so then I can make a ribbon out of the receipt ‪#‎recycle‬
←Rate | 07-22-2014 17:13 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon if your neighbors call the police on you for playing loud music, just tell the cop "you can dance if you want to or you can leave your friend behind..."
←Rate | 10-08-2013 19:33 by Eddy Comments (0)  


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